Riding the Relationship Rollercoaster
There comes a time in every relationship where the strings are pulled, and each spouse is put to the test. Many things can cause tension in a marriage or domestic partnership; and regardless of the initial onset of the tension that may lead to the end—you must step back, take a deep breath in, and be thankful for what you have.
Remember, as a parent—you have to be the best you can be, before you can be the parent your children need you to be. If this means taking a break from life for a few minutes longer than you normally would, or more often than normally would, so be it. Someone in your life will help you take the step back, and the break you need in order to approach the relationship issues that are likely eating you alive.
There are some people who advocate staying together for the children; and, while I am not praising separation and divorce, sometimes, this truly is the best option for the family. In saying this, I am advocating doing anything and everything in your power to correct the problem that brought you to this point in your lives together until you honestly feel as though you are helpless in the matter. Certain situations will not allow for this flexibility; and if you feel danger or harm—remove the family from the situation in a safe, healthy manner.
Everyone in the family will feel the stress, pain, and tension that your relationship is currently under. Bare this in mind as you move through your daily routine, and remember the severity factor of this emotion will vary for each family member. Treat your children as normally as you would at any other time, but allow them in on the appropriate amount of information for their age and maturity—to maintain family bonds and family unity while you work through the turmoil.
Work through the issues with care, and ease. Nothing will instantly make the issues disappear, as nothing instantly brought the issues to light or created them in the first place. No matter what you do, and where you end up in the end of the crisis; focus on your family. Open the lines of communication and find each other rather than shutting each other out. In deciding to work through it, follow through. In deciding to part ways, work out civil plans for continuing to parent your children, together, as much as possible.
Though we never desire the end of a tremendous love—you must take it all as a life lesson, along with the frame of mind that everything happens for a reason. The children may raise hell, you may feel like your world is crashing and you are dying inside, and you may not see how you will get through it. But, with time, your children will grow, mature, and understand why that course of action was taken—as will you.
Take a look at this video with some successful relationship advice.
Please share your thoughts and feelings regarding the various aspects of distressed relationships, with all of us below. All advice for coping and moving through the issues is welcome—we could help each other more than we realize!
Related Posts
No related posts
. . . . . . . . . .
Cindy,
Very thoughtful and well-written article. You have some good information to share and a clear way of presenting it. I’ll have to stop by once in a while and see what you’re up to!
Lori–
Thank you for stopping by! I appreciate the comments, and I have lots of good stuff in store for my readers.
patience… grasshopper.. and also looking at the “bigger picture” rather than what’s going on “right now” g-d doesnt give us anything we can’t handle whether in the moment realized or not
gp in montana
GP–
You are so right. Thanks for stopping by and offering those words of wisdom!
Cindy
This was a great post. I’d add that I liked the part of “doing anything and everything in your power to correct the problem that brought you to this point in your lives together until you honestly feel as though you are helpless in the matter.”
I think there is so much gained from trying to work it out. And many would be surprised to find that more often than not they can start anew with each other, no matter what the problem was previously.
Yes, I agree. My husband and I are in the beginning steps of the starting anew. Though it seemed easier to walk away even two weeks ago, we know in our hearts this is the best way to go, and I am well on my way to being even happier than I was before.
Thanks for helping me see I’m not the only one who thinks it’s better to save something than to let it go destroyed!