Mom is Not Here Right Now. Please Leave a Message.

So I was at the video store engaged in a conversation with the clerk about the advantages of joining their club. He shared some funny stories about his kids and joked about how many popcorn buckets I was buying. All in all a lovely conversation except for the awareness of something noisy and aggravating behind me in the far distance. Only I realized the annoyance was not in the distance, it was right behind me. Once I was fully tuned back in I realized it was my kids running wild in the video store.

Can you say you have never honestly been there? Never focused so hard on what you were trying to hear or do that became briefly unaware that your kids were present and going wild?

I remember before I had kids I would be appalled at what children got away with in public. How loud and rambunctious they were while mom seemed not to care. I realize now that what I mistook as uncaring and lack of courtesy was actually the glazed over gaze of a woman trying to survive.

I am glad to say that most of the time my kids are actually great. But when their wild mood comes at a time when I must get something accomplished, that is when I tune right out. Take the grocery store for instance. Early on I was very strict in the store. I tried to correct them on everything they touched and every inappropriate remark they made. The only thing I really accomplished was spending twice as much and forgetting half of what I needed, such was my lack of focus.

That’s when I came into possession of the gift. I had heard of the phenomenon before, the ability of a parent to tune out completely from the chaos behind her and carry on with her business as if she had not a distraction in the world. I have gotten so good at it that it is as if I exist on two different planes. I am not only tuned out and into the grocery zone and unaware of any noise around me, but I am shooshing the kids and periodically corralling them with my arm.

No amount of wishing or trying will bring it on. You just realize one day that you have acquired it, like when you’re at line at the video store trying to figure out if you rent enough movies to justify joining the club.

I know we all use the term “tune out” or its equivalent. But that time at the video store was the most aware I have ever been of it. Have you acquired your ability to tune out yet? What’s your number one place to tune out?