Monthly Archives: August 2008

Come On Moms, Get Real

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You know, one of my biggest problems when I became a Mom was my perception that everyone and everything around me was perfect. If somebody had just confessed to me that they suffered doubt and frustration too, I might not have beat myself up so bad.

New (all?) Moms are so tough on themselves and insecure that they might not be doing something right or that their child is not developing appropriately. My Kids were 3 and 7 at adoption and they lacked skills and knowledge of other kids their age. Now the focus should have been 100% getting them caught up. Instead I was dealing with about a 30% feeling of inadequacy because my kids were lacking basic tools for their ages.

Meanwhile, I was seeing Moms all around me who appeared to have everything perfected. When I shared my struggles with them and inquired how they did it, they gave me tips and elaborated on how great their lives were but they never shared any struggles in return. So I assumed the struggles didn’t exist and became more ashamed and disappointed in myself that I didn’t have this natural mother thing that everyone else had.

It wasn’t until not long ago that I learned the truth. You ALL have issues! :-) There is just a need to appear “perfect” or “super woman” to the outside world and keep all your difficulties to yourself. Make it look easy no matter how hard you might be struggling.

I am thankful to the few Moms who finally let me in on the secret so I didn’t feel like such a loser. We shouldn’t have to put on our sunday best for our girlfriends and fellow mommies. So Ladies, help your Sisters out when you see them struggling. She doesn’t really need your tips. She needs to know that you, Supermom, once had the same problems and fears.

There is a great website that was brought to my attention today called True Mom Confessions. Some of it is sad and some of it is laugh out loud funny, so check it out. You’ll find out that your are definitely not alone.

Any Elvis Fans in the Building?

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I know my Aunt Dee is in the house.  Maybe LuLu if I remember to send her this post.  Anybody else?  With Elvis Week being outshined this year by the Olympics and politics (as it should be) I feel like the only one who is remembering him.  I haven’t seen a thing on TV, no mention of the upcoming Anniversary, and no marathon movies this week.  So I decided to go a little Elvis on ya today. :-)

I was silly enough to think that I was a last generation Elvis fan.  I was 7 years old when I saw him in concert and he died three months later.   I guess i figured that because I was among the youngest to see him and be exposed to him alive that his popularity among NEW fans would fade.  I was wrong!

While browsing videos available online I found comments of Elvis fans in their teens and twenties.  How amazing! 

My favorite Elvis song is “If I Can Dream”.  It’s a beautiful song and has some special meaning between me and my Mama :-)   I was trying to find a version of it to share today and ran across this recording of Elvis and Lisa Marie singing IN THE GHETTO together.  It gave me chills.  It is haunting and beautiful, but also disturbing with the guns and the babies so if you haven’t seen it, heads up. 

As parents we can all identify with the Father Daughter connection in the video between Elvis and Lisa Marie, as well as the concerns about our children, that we are able to provide for them and give them the happiness and lives they deserve.  The video stirred up some controvesy, but I think they did something bold to bring our attention to a serious and very real issue.  All the proceeds went to charity by the way.  Let me know what you think about it.

Real Estate, Gold Medals, Nursing, and Euthanization

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That pretty much sums up my last week.  I wanted to come visit yesterday but I just didn’t have the opportunity.  A good blogger has some posts in the vault for just such occasions, but I never claimed to be such.  I’ve made no secret of the fact that I am basically winging it! :-)   I have given up being organized until the kids get back to school.  This post, in fact, is in fact a good example of my being all over the place and lacking focus.  :-)

For anyone who’s been following the real estate market either out of macabre curiosity or because you are currently buying or selling, I had a significant spike in real estate phone calls over the last week and lots of showings this weekend.  All the houses we looked at were decent too!  Minimal mold, no intentional damage, etc.  It was the first time in a while I felt optimism with regards to that part of my life.

Did anyone else cry during Opening Ceremonies?  Ever since I was a kid I have just been overwhelmed when it comes to the Olympics.  The sense of unity and all forces, friend &foe coming together for this one event… the overall “community” spirit… THEN there are the Olympic Athletes… people who reached for the stars and and are achieving their dreams right before our eyes.  WOW!  It’s just such an amazing glimmer of hope and inspiration, especially when trying times might make you forget the endless opportunities available to us.  Anyway, I have had to start taping the Olympics because it was hijacking my days!  As powerful as it is, it wasn’t inspiring the towels to jump out of the baskets and fold themselves so we had to set some limits!

Lastly, and what’s been keeping me the most distracted is Poor Cheese.  The antibiotics were not enough and his poor little body was overwhelmed with infection.  Over the weekend the mattery stuff sealed his eyes shut so that he couldn’t see to walk around to eat or drink.  We put some warm compresses on his eyes which helped momentarily but they sealed right back up.  His tummy never healed and one side of his face was and body was swollen.  So we took him to the vet who agreed he was in a lot of pain and would not bounce back.  The kids knew that we were likely putting Cheese to sleep at that visit and when our vet explained everything to them they both put smiles on their somber faces, gathered around him, put their hands on him and told him what a good boy he was.  No tears.  While we waited through his procedure they laughed and reminisced, “Remember that time Cheese broke out of his cage and we found him asleep, sitting up, under the couch?”  But when our Vet returned with him wrapped in a little blanket in his cage the floodgates opened.  The twisted matted hamster we sent to the surgery room didn’t look like Cheese.  But released from the pain and in peace, there he was.  Our Cheesie.  Dad buried him in the back yard marked and his spot with a headstone.  “RIP CHEESE” it says.  :-)   It was plain that everyone missed him last night because night time before bed is our hamster play time and feeding time.  So our routine had a hole in it but everyone went to bed feeling that they took good care of him and satisfied they did all they could. 

A tough thing for them to see, for sure, but a good lesson about an important part of life.  I hear so many people say that it is for these reasons that they don’t get attached to pets or maybe don’t get pets at all because it hurts too much to let them go.  But I think that building those bonds when we are young and having to suffer through the heartbreaks on that level could play an important part in preparing for the future and relationships with people that we love and lose later in life. 

So that’s it.  My busy week.  What have you been up to?

Spend Friday with “COZI” and “WeAreWhatWeDo”

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Welcome to Friday everyone.  :-)

I have a couple of fun goodies to share with you today.  I love gadgets and tools and internet games and such.  I find interesting things all the time that hold my attention for a few minutes, a few days, or sometimes even make it into my every day routine.  Recently I found two sites I love that I am playing with a bit to see how each one fits in my day and whether they make the most of my valuable time or dawdle it away.  The first one is called Cozi.   It is an online household organizer that is super easy to use.  It has a family journal, a calendar, a place to share photos, shopping lists, to do lists, and more.  It can even sync with your Outlook.  It is absolutely free and something you will enjoy if you like organizing things online or are trying to use less paper.  Click here to go to the Cozi website and check it out. 

The second one is called WE ARE WHAT WE DO.  It is a super fun online community that describes itself like this

and welcome to We Are What We do, a new movement inspiring people to use their everyday actions to change the world. We’re not talking moving big mountains. More of a gentle nudge from the corner desk. A little prod from the sofa. A gentle push from the PE room.

There are some simple and motivating ideas there and a place you can track what YOU do.  Below is my tracker and you can click at the bottom to go check the website out for yourself. 

So take a few minutes and check them out. Come on, it’s Friday!

How do Kids Say Goodbye to their Pets?

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Thank goodness it’s Thursday.  It has been a long week and I am glad to be on the other end of it.  I did a detox fast for three days sipping water and juice and noshing on fruits and veggies.  I was working on an assignment this weekend all about fad diets and by the time I was done I was convinced I need to flush my system of all its impurities. :-)   Now I am a little grouchy for no particular reason other than lack of nachos and maybe little dread that next time someone walks by Cheese’s cage he won’t be breathing.

My poor hamster Cheese is hanging in there but I believe his days are numbered.  We’re finished with the meds, he’s balder than ever and a little wobbly when he walks.  Sari’s crying every day when she visits him.  She’s a titch on the dramatic side but she is sincere.  Andrew doesn’t acknowledge him anymore.  This will be our first lost pet and I am not sure what to expect from the kids or what exactly to do.   Ham’s loss was never really acknowledged.  When I found him in the sump pump I didn’t tell.  We all “assumed” he finally broke free and was living free in the wild.  He was the free spirit.  Whereas good ol’ Cheese has always been content rollerballing around the house and humoring our hugs.

As I contemplate the kids losing their first pet I am reminded of my favorite dog growing up, ToJay.  He was with me from pup to old dog.  I slept with a can of his dog food under my pillow for weeks when he went missing.  I wonder now if he ever really “went missing” or if my parents protected me from seeing the truth, like I did with Ham.  I have a lot of little moments like that… where little mysteries of my past are uncovered through the things I do for my kids.  It’s fun.

Have your kids lost a pet yet?  Do you have any advice?

Small Steps to a Big Change

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Hubby is back to work! Yay!  So that means a return to the morning notes.  It was pointed out to me by my Daughter Sari that I waste a lot of paper on the morning notes and she came up with a perfect easy idea.

I was not at all in save the planet mode.  I was in “I can barely keep my eyes open and I want to get this crap done so I can get to bed” mode.  We use dry erase boards a lot but it just doesn’t work in the kitchen, I guess because the space is so small. I was sure that was where she was headed but she pointed out that the notes usually say the same things… “lunch is in the fridge”, “call me at lunch”, “I have to show houses when you get out of work”, etc.  So we made nicely printed signs on some heavier paper we had and stuck them in a pinchy magnet on the fridge.  So all we have to do now is pull the appropriate note down and put it by his keys.  We also made one that says, “have a good day” for when there is nothing else to say. No more pulling pages out of notebooks and hunting for a pen that works!  We made our live easier and saved some trees.  Easy right?

So I looked up a few more things that families can easily do.

  • Did  you know that changing just one regular light bulb in the house to one of those newish compact fluroescent bulbs has the same impact as removing one MILLION cars from the road?! 
  • Using cruise control saves on gas.
  • Having a meatless meal just once a week will have an enormous impact on water  & land conservation, and greenhouse emissions.  In fact, a person makes a bigger positive impact on the environment by eating vegetarian than by buying a hybrid car.
  • Turn your computer off at night.
  • Stop ordering phone books and use the internet intead.
  • Switch from answering machines to voice mail systems.
  • Use rechargeable batteries when you can.  Saves money and saves energy.
  • Buy local.
  • Eliminate junk mail. click here to go to a website where you can “de-list” your name, similar to the “do not call list”, except your name is coming off the main sources of junk mail mailing.  It’s convenient for us and helpful to the evironment.

Something else I read criticized women and families for having so many children when the planet is already overpopulated and that 1.7 chldren is the responsible amount of kids to have that the planet can sustain.  WOW!  That’s a hot topic!  How do you guys feel about that?

Everything Family Issue 4

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Welcome to the August 5, 2008 edition of everything family. This is my first time being in charge of the carnival and I am blown away by all the good stuff we’ve received.  Thanks everyone for your submissions!  I’ll be over to check out your blogs soon!

Enjoy!

Madeleine Begun Kane presents Quick Story & Other Verse (Limerick & Haiku Prompt) posted at Mad Kane’s Humor Blog.

Tony Chen presents How Tiger Woods inspires my parenting posted at Savvy Daddy.

Phylameana presents Necessities for the New Grandmother posted at Spiral Visions, saying, “When I became a first time grandmother my sister welcomed me into grand-parenthood with a box filled with goodies to help the adjustment into this very important life role.”

Michael Snyder presents The Los Lunas Decalogue Stone – How In The World Did The Ten Commandments Get To America Before Columbus Did? posted at Shattered Paradigm.

David Cassell presents College Credit Transfer posted at selectcoursesblog.com.

Sheila Danzig presents What Makes Online Nursing Degrees So Popular? posted at The Degree Blog.

Jennifer Johnson presents Pregnancy-The State of Mind posted at MommyABCs.com, saying, “Pregnancy”

Jennifer Johnson presents Saving Money at Home posted at MommyABCs.com, saying, “diapers, saving money, coupons, generics”

Busy Bee Kim presents Give Your Summer a Theme! posted at Busy Bee Lifestyle.

Pearl Widsom presents Meet the HippieBaby posted at Pearls of Wisdom.

Shaheen Lakhan presents How Do We Feed Our Children? posted at Brain Blogger, saying, “How in the world do we find out what to feed our children? What’s the most important factor? Is there a most important factor?”

Modern Parent presents Summer Fun – Everyone into the Pool! posted at The Modern Parent: baby product reviews, parenting advice, and tips, saying, “This is post about my sons first trip in a swimming pool! Also includes a few items we like to take along for fun in the sun.”

James Chambers presents Does Being Overweight Cause Increased Sweating? posted at Hyperhidrosis.

Concerning Kids presents How to Handle a School Yard Bully posted at Concerning Kids.

James Brausch presents Five Lifestyles That Do Lead To Weight Loss posted at Weight Loss Dude.

David Cassell presents Feel The Pain posted at selectcoursesblog.com.

Dads

GP presents Lessons Dad Still Teaches Me posted at Innstyle Montana- Come on Inn, saying, “Lessons dad still teaches me”

Homework. Dinner. Life. presents Wow, Dude, You Can Cook on the Grill? I. Am. Not. Impressed. – recent posts – Homework. Dinner. Life. posted at Angela Norton Tyler.

John Frank presents The Diaper Change that Never Ends posted at Harrowed Parent, saying, “Love requires sacrifice every now and then.”

Jeremy Neal presents What Dads Really Think About Quality Time posted at Discovering Dad.

Jeff Tincher presents Why My Kids Want Mommy So Much? posted at Daddys Toolbox.

Family

Jeff Tincher presents How I Spent My Father’s Day posted at Daddys Toolbox, saying, “Just wanted to share my Father’s Day events with everyone. Please visit my Dad blog when you have a chance.”

Everything Finance presents Simple Foreclosure Solutions posted at Everything Finance.

Mike Remer presents A Great Weight Reducing Secret | My Path To Fitness Blog posted at My Path To Fitness Blog.

James Chambers presents Hyperhidrosis Causes posted at Hyperhidrosis.

Mathilde Rufenacht presents Fruit pie, whipped cream, and why the calories are not always where you think posted at Shop’NCook blog, saying, “This is what happened when my husband, well intentioned, sprayed whipped cream on our cake at a parents’ barbecue party…”

Mother Hen presents Pay to Shop? posted at Mother Hen.

Michael Ritchason presents The view from up here: The cable guy posted at The view from up here.

Andrew Heath presents Privilege to Be with a Loved One at the Time of Death posted at Andy, saying, “My dad was one of my greatest heroes. This is my tribute to his legacy.”

sarah presents Directory of NYC museum free/pay-what-you-wish days posted at SARAHSPY.

Jeff Sullivan presents Cheap and Free Things To Do In Branson posted at Branson Travel Attractions.

Jennifer Johnson presents Stay At Home Moms posted at MommyABCs.com, saying, “Tips for Stay at Home Moms and Working Dads”

Jenny presents Kids Say The Darndest Things posted at the so called me.

Barbara Schreiber presents The Case Against Same-Sex Marriage by Dr. Allan Carlson | Britannica Blog posted at Britannica Blog, saying, “Intriguing discussion of same-sex marriages with a follow-up discussion: http://www.britannica.com/blogs/2008/06/same-sex-marriage-in-california-whats-love-got-to-do-with-it/”

:: Suzanne :: presents overheard posted at :: adventures in daily living ::.

GP presents The Innside Scoop is Out posted at Innstyle Montana- Come on Inn, saying, “The innside scoop on traveling”

Brent Diggs presents Little Known Ways to Get Your Spouse to Attend Your Anniversary* posted at The Ominous Comma.

Moms

Carole Fogarty presents 10 Rocking Rejuvenation Tips To Grab On The Run For June: posted at THE HEALTHY LIVING LOUNGE.

Jennifer Johnson presents SEX, MARRIAGE, AND KIDS posted at MommyABCs.com, saying, “Tips to Recover the Romance”

Other

Tip Diva presents Tip Diva | Top Ten Tips – If Your Wallet Is Stolen posted at Tip Diva, saying, “Tip Diva unfortunately had her wallet stolen yesterday. Luckily, her ATM card and driver’s license were not in the wallet, but the perp decided to buy $200 worth of train tickets using her credit cards. Here’s what to do in case your wallet is stolen”

Tip Diva presents Tip Diva | Top Ten Tips – Throwing A Surprise Party posted at Tip Diva, saying, “Parties are always fun – especially if it’s a surprise for the guest of honor! Surprise parties, however, can be tricky to pull off, unless you do a little planning first”

Tip Diva presents Tip Diva | Top Ten Tips – Finding A High School Summer Job posted at Tip Diva, saying, “If you have nothing to do during your summer break, you may want to earn some extra cash by getting a job. There are a lot of opportunities out there for high school students, if you know where to look”

Matt M presents Less Product for Same Price posted at Can’t Afford Life.

Matt M presents Dog’s In The Kitchen posted at The Pet Haven, saying, “Dogs are always part of my family, even when we cook.”

Jason Rusch presents More Useful Boxer Dog Training Tips posted at boxerdogessentials.com.

Larry Russell presents Living Expense Tracking Methods posted at Pasadena Financial Planner.

Parenting

David B. Bohl presents The Difference Between a Dad and a Father posted at Slow Down Fast Today!, saying, “A dad is someone who not only physically helped to create the life of a child, but also supports that child with the basic necessities (food, clothing and shelter) and provides guidance and advice to see his child through life.”

Jeremy Neal presents Top 10 Discoveries About Being a Good Dad posted at Discovering Dad.

David presents Bad Credit Loans Tailored For Single Parents posted at Pirate Bricks, saying, “Single parents are more likely to need finance than married couples who count on two incomes.”

Jane @ Kidzarama presents How to Remove a Tooth… posted at Kidzarama, saying, “Or, “My Grandma Has a Mean Right Uppercut”.”

Julie Heath – More4kids Inc. presents Top 10 Tips for Parenting a Contrary Kid posted at More4kids.

Jennifer Johnson presents Potty Time posted at MommyABCs.com, saying, “Potty training”

Holly Ord presents Is the Media Promoting Teen Pregnancy? posted at Menstrual Poetry.

Heather Johnson presents Guests: Dealing With the IRS and Parents Send Mixed Messages to Children posted at The Kaitlyn Mae Book Blog.

Jenny presents Get Road Ready This Summer posted at The Inner Shopper.

Jennifer Johnson presents Medicine Bag posted at MommyABCs.com, saying, “Suggestions for your diaper bag.”

Jennifer Johnson presents Toddler ABC?s and 123?s posted at MommyABCs.com, saying, “Teaching Your Toddler”

Jennifer Johnson presents Spending Time – Making Memories posted at MommyABCs.com, saying, “Spending Time With Your Kids”

Terry Candee presents The Relaxing ? Tween Years posted at Bonding Moms & Daughters To Navigate Our Crazy World ……….Oh Yeah AND Crafts!!!, saying, “Thought you could relax now that junior can fix his own snacks? Fat chance, it’s time to coach, drive the taxi and host sleepovers!”

P.L. Frederick presents Baby Bottom Business posted at Small and Big, saying, “I see a lady changing diapers…

(Thanks for your consideration!)”

Write From Karen presents Parenting: Do You Like Your Childrens Friends? posted at Write From Karen, saying, “How well do you like your childrens’ friends? Are they a positive influence? Visit to learn how my teenage boys have dealt with their changing friendships this past year – and how I’m using these changes as an excuse to try and teach them a thing or two about growing up.”

Kevin Heath presents Top 10 Tips for Raising Your Childs Self Esteem posted at More4kids.

Tip Diva presents Top Ten Tips – Keeping Bored Children Amused posted at Tip Diva, saying, “School’s out for the summer, which, for many parents and caretakers, usually means more wails of, “I’m booooored!” from children who just don’t know what to do with their classroomless-days. Here are some suggestions”

Tip Diva presents Tip Diva | Top Ten Tips – Keeping Kids Safe Online posted at Tip Diva, saying, “Recent news such as the Megan Meier cyber bullying case, a Washington kidnapping and numerous child porn arrests have highlighted the need for increased Internet safety for children. But the best protection starts at home, with parents or guardians. Here are ways to keep your child safe online”

Chris Christensen presents Traveling with Small Children – Amateur Traveler Episode 142 posted at The Amateur Traveler Podcast – travel for the love of it, saying, “The Amateur Traveler talks to Debbie from http://DeliciousBaby.com about traveling (internationally) with small kids: why not just stay home, how to cope with the airport and long flights, and destinations that are great for kids.”

Metaliphe presents Division of Labor Issues posted at Chandra Unplugged – No nonsense, Straight-up blogging from a Life Coach, saying, “How’s the division of labor in your house?”

Jennifer Johnson presents WHOSE DOG IS THIS, ANYWAY?! posted at MommyABCs.com.

Jennifer Johnson presents WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH YOU??? posted at MommyABCs.com.

Jennifer Johnson presents The Dreaded??I?m Bored!? posted at MommyABCs.com.

That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of everything family using our carnival submission form. Past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page.

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A VIRUS WARNING interrupts scheduled posting

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bulk candy taffy

Good morning!
I am late with this post, in part, because I logged on Sunday to 41 viruses!
I did the only thing I could do on a busy day filled with writing, house chores, houses to show, and family returniing from the lake… I turned it off and pretended I didn’t know. Apparently Mom’s gift of “tune out” spans beyond being able to block out her bad kids at WalMart. I just knew if I got into it my whole day would be eaten up and I had stuff to do.

So I ran one of my security systems and it says I am good to go. Which apparently I am because HERE I AM. Yesterday I couldn’t even get past the giant fuzzy icons on my desktop. My other security system, the one I didn’t even know I had, says I still have 37! Listen, my Son’s dehydrated, I have unfinished projects started upstairs and my hamster may have cancer. Do I really need 37 viruses right now? I tried to do a google search this morning and it threw a big message up to me that said, “YOUR ANTIVIRUS NEEDS TO BE UPDATED.” How does Google know that? I am growing suspicious.

To make matters worse I am getting a pop up non stop that says I need to update my AV2009. But I don’t use AV! I use AVG and it says I am fine! Who do I believe?

Here’s the thing, AV2009 wants $50 to update and remove the viruses. And here’s the problem, which brings me to what my post was SUPPOSED to be about today. Saturday night I spent $30 on bulk candy. THIRTY DOLLARS!!! ON CANDY! This was after the planned splurge on dinner for Sari and me at the Japanese grill. The boys went to the lake and Sari and I stayed home to continue Cheese’s medicine and treatment plan, so as a substitute for tubing, we went to the BIG mall, had a delicious and entertaining dinner, and Sarah wanted to stop at the bulk candy store on the way out. No biggie, I thought.

Sari had a great time browsing all the stations and filling her bag while I threw some hot cinnamon jelly beans in a bag with a mint chocolate square. I nearly had a heart attack when the clerk told me $32. In our two little bags we were holding 11 pounds of candy! Have you EVER?! Later Hubby said I should have just turned and left. I believe he would have done that. And maybe it would have occured to me had I known I had a $50 virus update looming.

So this didn’t turn out to be my intended post. There is not really any advice or anything, except maybe a warning… those little goodie bags add up fast so weigh as you go when shopping at the bulk candy store.

I really need to know, did everyone but me already know how expensive the candy store was? And how do they stay in business? WHO SHOPS THERE?

thanks to L Chayim for the candy pic!

UPDATE  Before I had a chance to post this my puter suddenly shut down, sent me all kinds of messages and put  me into safe mode.  It repeated the process a few times.  I ran upstairs to get my credit card to buy the freaking antivirus update, but I googled AV2009 on  Drew’s computer first just to make sure.  AV2009 IS a virus!  It mimmicks my real antivirus program so that I’ll give it my credit card number.  Mommies, stay away from AV 2009!!!  There are pages of complaints online and also some fixes if you happened to have already run the update like I almost did!  BTW, my real antivirus, AVG, was trying to tell me and give the opportunity to heal, but it was covered up by the malicious programs pop ups!  SO puter is healed now.  That just leaves the sick Boy and the sick Hamster.  Boy has “dragged” himself to the video game area… perhaps he is “healed” as well!