In My Next Life I’ll Give a Shit
In my next life I will do things differently.
In elementary school there was a mean girl. She was little, cute, had wiry hair and a sharp tongue. She was the center of a noisy group of kids at the lunch table every day. Then there was another girl, always smiling, sitting with herself or a couple others. She was chubby. Then there was me. As unsocial then as I am now but less tolerant of injustice. I mostly sat alone because I was grossed out by all the food and whatnot that spit out of kids mouth while they talked with their mouths full. I can still feel the gag seeing bits of their chewed food land on my bologna and cheese. There were often kids who wanted to sit with me at lunch, and that was fine. But they knew the rules. No talking while my sandwich was out. And they listened to me. Obeyed, if you will.
Nobody listens to me today.Not even me! 
Back to the elementary school lunch table. So one day after a long period of observing the mean girl abuse the chubby girl day after day, tampering with her food and calling her fat, I decided I could not sit quietly by and ignore this injustice. I turned to the mean girl, sandwich in hand, and said, “Hey. I don’t think what you are doing is nice, maybe if you make me understand I will enjoy it too.” Mean girl was stunned, as was the rest of the table. Cus I was never talks with food in mouth girl. I continued. “Why do you like to make her feel sad every day?” When Meanie couldn’t respond I added, “How would you like it if she called you ‘frizz head’? Cus she has beautiful soft hair and you don’t. Then the whole table might make you cry every day.”
Swear to goodness they became best friends after that. I did that. And other things too. That’s just my favorite because it made a huge difference to the girl getting picked on and to our whole lunch table.
Now somewhere between then and now, I changed. Became complacent. No longer cared about fighting for anybody, anything, or even myself. Life was good, so what was the point in stirring shit up? Or making people mad? Instead of being interested in righting wrongs and challenging ideas, I made excuses. “Oh he didn’t mean it that way”, “she really is sweet, she was just having a bad day”, etc. Somewhere along the way it became important to make everyone around me happy, which is what made me happy, so everyone should have been happy except that some people are morons and you can never make them happy and in so trying you will drive yourself insane. See what I’m sayin’
Which made me think. If I had it to do all over again, I would have made myself a cape after that first big impact I made at the lunch table in elementary school. I would have worn it with pride during lunch to remind myself to stay sharp and keep close tabs on lunch room and recess injustice. It would have also surely kept other kids far enough away from me at lunch that I didn’t have to duck their flying moist morsels.
Later, when I became the object of some mean girl attacks, my cape would have kept me strong instead of sending me home in tears. It also would have likely brought on more attacks, but the point is, I wouldn’t have cared.
You know, maybe I don’t have to wait til my next life now that I think about it. Why can’t I start right now?
Hey neighbors! You across the street that park your cars in the front yard… this is a SUBDIVISION. You don’t park in your lawn. If you want me to get technical, you are supposed to MOW it!
Dish Network. We are THROUGH! You charged me way too much in 1997 to BUY my dishes. Who does that? You said it was so my service would move with me from residence to residence. But they all do and nobody buys the dishes anymore. You continue to charge me too much for service AND you took all the good high def channels away. The new batch sucks! You know who else moves their service with you? Direct TV. Yeah. DirectTv in Texas, Direct Tv in Florida, Direct TV in New York, wherever I want to go. So watch yourself, cus I am making some changes. you might want to consider bringing that cool high def travel channel back along with those extreme sports.
School District: Don’t make me put my cape on and come up there. You brag about your superiority and special programs. Why has it taken four years under your watch to run some tests and figure out what to do with us? He experienced more trauma by 9 than you will likely see in a lifetime, yet you label him manipulative and deny him assistance? That’s not nice. Let me tell you what I think…
Family. I work from home. That means you are lucky and don’t have to go to daycare. Or pay for daycare. It doesn’t mean that you have a 24 hour maid. Or assistant. Or chef. Or punching bag. Also, I like to read. You may not know it because I haven’t done it in five years. But when you see me hiding in the closet with a book to my nose and my cell phone lighting the way, I do not want to see that funny commercial with Sam & the chicken or watch you test drive the latest skate board couse you made with Tony Hawk. I’m good.
Hey Friend! That’s called littering. And I am totally offended by it and plan to give you shit about it from now on. It’s also illegal. I might turn you in. And if you continue to spew ignorance out of your mouth about people who are different from you, you don’t get to be my friend, even if we’re family. Unless you are reading this blog you won’t even realize what’s happening. You’ll simply be history.
That’s just the beginning. There is nonsense brewing all over the place. Have you noticed? What are you doing about it? Are you fighting for what you believe in or turning the other cheek to keep your own private peace? It’s not too late to wake up and start giving a shit. Let’s do it together.
What bugs you? What beliefs have you ignored or things have you allowed to happen in the name of keeping the peace? What do you want to do differently?
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HAHA! RIGHT ON SISTA!
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Wow! What bugs me? That is not really hard to write about as I need to get a couple things off my chest antway. A few years ago I met thias lady who is really a great person, she has a big heart, and because of that her kids (a son and a daughter) who were 18 and 19 when I met her, used her credit cards along with a con-man she thought she was in love with until she found herself 20 thousand dollars in debt because of her kids and desire’s. She had long kicked out the con, but blaimed everything on him, which was only half true as her kids were responsible for a large part of her debt, which when I pointed out to her that all her cards needed to be cut-up and she needed to consolidate and start paying on the principle instead of just paying the interest every month! Of course I was now a big “Ass-Hole” according to her kids because I was now interfearing and was told by the unresponsible twirps that she would always choose them over me. But i convinced her if she wanted to have a life she would have to (oh my god!!!) cut themm off! Fortunatly she did and now is only a year from being credit card debt free! You think she would relish in the fact that she now has an oppertunity to re-establish her credit and keep control of her finances, but oh-no,lets not be happy for the support and backing I gave her in this endeavor! I told her it would be good for us to have some sort of life insurance coverage, so if something were to happen, we would be secure in the fact that costs would be covered, and which ever one it was would have time to recover. But, noooooooo! We wouldn’t want to be secure!!! Now her f-ing kids and her are the experts of finance, and know it alls! I told her last night that if I remembered right, it was her kids and that loser she was running around with that got her into a situation that has taken 4 yearsout of her life to pay back including another year to go! Gee! Am I the only one who realizes this? Who the “H” am I? I let her know I was not the guy who took her for everything she had plus all her credit! I am not one of her kids that goes around telling everyone how much they love her, while stabbing her in the back using her credit cards! So, I finally told her that I was thinking I was doing something good fore us, not something bad, and then I looked straight at her and said; “maybe you should have married that loser con-man who took you for everything you had and that way you would be a lot happier” at which she turned around and went into the bathroom,crawled into a bath and finally returned two hours later to try to seduce me while rubbing her but all over me. Unfortunately, I just was not in the mood! So, now I am wondering if I should just file for a divorce and find someone a little more responsible!
You’ve said just what I feel! I always feel like i’m supressing my emotions to make others happy - i’m gonna try and write down a similar list tonight and see if it helps!
You go girl!! I am glad to see that you are finally not taking any crap, but please make sure that I am around to see you dish it back to others! I got your back!
I think this article is FANF’INGTABULOUS!!!!! A woman after my own heart!! I knew there was more than just our usual awesomeness that built our bond!! You ROCK Cin!!!!
Yay! I see some facebookers leaving comments. *MUAH*
Jay, thanks for the comment. You’re my coolest new social media BFF that I never met.
Heather! I shall neither take it NOR dish it out. Or something like that.
Leslie: Yes our bonds run far deeper than Stackers & marathon sessions of deconstructing giant Christmas trees.
Wesley: Lord have mercy! That comment is a post all on its own! I do believe I recognize your name from somewhere… anyway…what are you going to do about it?! I certainly wouldn’t advise you in any way other than to pass along some wise words I got this week. LIVE OUT LOUD! MAKE SOME NOISE! It’s good to care about people but you gotta care about yourself too. Now go out and get noisy! And come back and read my blog some more
I’ppreciate it!
I am with Heather…I got your back too!! As long as you have them down on the ground ahead of time….LMFAO
As someone who works from home as well, I can totally relate. There are a lot of days where reading a novel from the closet doesn’t sound half bad, either.
Hmm… I read blogs on a similar topic, but i never visited your blog. I added it to favorites and i’ll be your constant reader.
What bugs me is the whole health care thing.
Our premiums are going up every year and they can’t even give us a reason why?
One of my employees just decided he would like to get covered under our health plan. In order for him to do this, he will need to pay both August’s and July’s premiums because July is open enrollment. I said, “you mean he has to pay for July even though he wasn’t even covered or used the plan in any way in July?” They said yes…
That’s just plan wrong. It’s stealing if you ask me!!!!
You tell em! There are a LOT of people I would like to tell off, I should do it. One day I will. No I won’t, but I might write an angry email
Thanks for the post…
It is indeed a great post and i am too unhappy with behavior of the mean girl. The way she behaved was really shameful and she should have stopped behaving then and there, the way she behaves now.
Thank you! You often write very interesting articles. You improved my mood.
Daniel, a very interesting post thanks for writing it!
From the title itself, it made me think to imagine my own life too. I think we have something in common. Great blog you have!
Really funny post
what bugs me……where to start:)
Very interesting and amusing subject. I read with great pleasure.
yes I am very good at doing everything to make others happy as well, might have to take a good look at myself and write a list.
Great post thanks, you have defiantly got me thinking its time to make a few changes in my life.
You and me both are having the same experience i mean i was also a dumb guy in my school days but now i am changed now i always try to improve myself because we should bring something new in our life!
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Your post has given me a bit of a wakeup call. Its about time I started telling people how are i really feel rather than just doing things for other people - I think you can be assertive and honest without hurting people…here goes!
We all seem to go through life trying to make others feel good and doing things to make them feel better. It is about time we all started making ourselves feel good!
Thanks for the post, I love how your blog looks.
Literring definitely puts me on the spot!
definitely i am also bored of the same routine life waking up on same timing then going to college & then the whole routine goes …blah blah blah but really i am very bored i want some change please if you can suggest me a way!
In truth, immediately i didn’t understand the essence. But after re-reading all at once became clear.
Interesting question. A lot of things used to bug me when I was younger like people being late for appointments and people talking a little too loudly on the phone in a confined space. But as I grow older, these kind of things don’t seem to matter as much. I don’t know why. Maybe because I had learned to care about things that really matter than getting riled up over something so petty.
A good post a good experience of life but totally crap. extremely stupid topic In next life.Make the things happen how you in this if you can else you are just a scared person boosting next life you don’t know what will happen tomorrow. what will u do in next life.