Monthly Archives: November 2009

Understanding “Staycation”

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When I first heard the term “staycation” earlier this year I thought it was lame.  I know it was supposed to put a positive spin on the fact that many of us could not afford vacations this year, but to me it just represented the poor economy and individual hard times being felt across the country. I am feeling a little different about it today.

Since I work from home most of the time, I feel like I am “at the office” all the time.  Even if there is nothing pressing to do, I see the computer… I feel the work vibe… which interferes with the relaxation vibe.  In addition to that, my phone rings constantly. My freelance writing is pretty much done only in the morning and late at night after everyone’s in bed.  But my real estate job has no hours and is attached to my cell phone, which is my home phone.  There is no separation. The phone rings from 7am past 10pm.  Even when I know the caller doesn’t need or expect a return call right that minute, I know I owe one and that also cuts into the relaxation vibe.

So when I first heard about people taking staycations it sounded like the stupidest thing in the world.  Although I could easily move my freelance writing and real estate office downstairs, freeing up the house from any work type energy, I couldn’t stop my phone from ringing. Or the mail from coming with bills. Or people needing me. Or stopping by. Even if no one did call or stop by there is always the possibility that they might which would make it impossible to completely relax and get away from it all.  Even though we were not able to take a vacation this year, no, I was not tempted to look into this staycation business.

I will amend that to say that I thought a lot about what a nice vacation it would be for me to stay home by myself for a week while everyone else went out away.  Not that I don’t enjoy them home, but because the summer was long with the kids home from school and hubby laid off work.  And everybody was HOME.  My work was interrupted, by home cleaning/organizing/projects were interrupted.  I still feel overwhelmed by all the unfinished projects and things that never even got started.

So now I am realizing that the “staying home” part of the staycation is not such a bad thing.  I already realize the home maintenance benefits of being able to send the family away and focus all my energies on the house for a week.  But couldn’t I also send everything else away and focus all my energies on my family for a week, just as if we WERE out of town?

We love our orlando vacations, but it isn’t Seaworld or the fun of hotel living with no bedtimes that is life changing.  It’s the BEING TOGETHER.

Experts tell us, and we know from experience, that we need breaks.  Vacations are not a “spoil” or something to feel bad about needing/taking.  Vacations refresh us from the challenges and every day hard work of life.  They give us a much needed break from the bills and responsibilities.  Vacations give us the strength to start over fresh and strong and are able to keep going and exceed our own goals and expectations.

So how do you get that feeling of renewal and getting re-energized while staying at home?  I am not sure because I think it will be different for everyone.  For us it would be to first set a budget, just like a vacation, so that we don’t feel guilty about spending on a fancy night out at home.  Then we’d have to move everything work and office related to the basement, putting a hold on the mail at the post office, and notifiying friends/family/work & associates that we are on vacation and not to call/come over.  Then plan activities ahead. A dinner at a favorite place, a play, big night at the movies… whatever the budget can accommodate.   And also plan things at home.  Game nights, sleeping in, family project, movie marathon, Wii tournaments, whatever.  The important thing is to only focus on one another.  No phone calls, no funny texts to forward, no mowing the lawn, etc.  Just each other.

It seems like our household has been in a state of hostility/impatience for a while now.  We could all use fun and relief and the house could use the cleansing.  I’m excited suddenly and wonder if we can pull it off?  Has anyone really tried it?  Or did we all just use the term “staycation” as a funny way to say we had to skip the family trip this year?

Skipping Sleep to Gain More Hours: Is it Worth it?

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I did something so dumb this week. I can’t even claim that I never did it before. I do it a lot, actually. Usually the consequences are a little discomfort on my own behalf. Or are these only the consequences I see at the time?  What is this dumb occasional habit I have? I skip whole nights of sleep, often without time for a nap the next day, and don’t go to bed until the following night.

I skipped sleep Monday night but where I am usually fine until bedtime the next night, I fell down on the couch and didn’t wake up.  I didn’t tell my family goodnight. I didn’t clean up the kitchen, lock the doors or turn off the lights.  I didn’t lay out kids clothes for the next day or pack lunches.  I cannot even tell you all the potential issues that could arise from all that. Of course my husband closed up the house and put everyone to bed, but still… I started today about behind and I feel like crap about not being there for my family last night.  But there’s more.

I woke up somewhere in the night miserable with swollen glands and a hot feverish face.  My skin is itching and I am dragging.  My Son is home with the  mumps today and I am wondering if the lack of sleep left my body weakened and vulnerable to his bugs?  And I wonder how the amount of work I accomplished by pulling an all nighter would compare with my low productivity and things I am getting behind on today?

Beyond the discomforts I am feeling today, what damage is being done that I can’t see? Is it weakening my immune system in general?  Is it aging me a little more rapidly?  The best eye wrinkle cream cannot cover repeated sleep deprived lines and puffiness.  Vitamins and supplements can’t un-do intentional abuse.  Why is it so hard to take good care of ourselves?

We all know how to take care of ourselves right?  We just need occasional reminders to tend to ourselves like we tend to others.  I am feeling the reminder today, that’s for sure.  Maybe this can be your reminder too so you can skip some future crappy experience yourself. :-)  Sleep deprivation is a terrible habit for me.  What’s yours?

Start Your Christmas Preparation Now

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When I was out this weekend shopping for my daughter’s November 1st birthday I could not believe the amount of Christmas stuff on display.  I know that every year I am surprised at the early appearance of the holiday goodies on the shelves but this year it seems like so much.  I have never been so late putting the finishing touches on my Halloween and daughter’s birthday shopping before so I was already feeling some pressure and that Christmas stuff made me tense.  But you know what?  It’s really not that early!

Forget about counting down the days.  Think about this… In less than two months it will be all over!  In less than two months you will have shopped, spent enormous amounts of money, exchanged & opened gifts, pulled out the decorations, sang the songs, consumed more yummy food & drink than would normally fit into your belly if you weren’t in the holiday spirit, baked the cookies, and put up, enjoyed, and taken down the Christmas tree.  TWO MONTHS!

When you think of things in those terms two months doesn’t seem like enough time to plan, act, and enjoy, does it?  It’s already time to send out the Christmas invitations and Holiday greetings, schedule the parties & cookie bakes, and dig out the decorations.  Otherwise you will be too busy to enjoy all the special treats & opportunities that present themselves between now and the new year.

Bye Bye Joey

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We lost another pet and it is really disappointing.   It’s been three days since we tried to revive our turtle Joey from what we were all frantic to believe was just a deep deep sleep.  But he didn’t wake up.  You might remember the telling of putting our hamster to sleep last year when he got sick with cancer and infection.  You might think that would be a tougher loss because it’s easier to imagine bonding, snuggling, and interacting with a big fat hamster than a hard shelled no hugs turtle, but you’d be wrong.

Of course the loss of our furry friend was tough, too. Watching him suffer was heart breaking. But Joey joined our family at just about the same time we adopted our kids and he helped us all to bond and get to know each other.  He’s been a part of our family for as long as we’ve been a family so it is just different for him to not be here.  I can tell the kids feel it too.

You don’t hug or necessarily communicate with a turtle like you do some other household pets but he did react to someone entering the room or hanging out at the aquarium watching him swim.  Turtles are very fun and relaxing to observe. Even just the sound of his tank and the constant motion of him swimming about kept a tranquil energy moving through the house.

We kept the turtles from school with us over the summer. We had them stay for shorter periods throughout the year and things were fine but summer vacation might have been too long.  It was the week before school when we noticed Joey was swimming funny. Kind of lopsided.  I didn’t notice the weight loss until I picked him up and his shell seemed deflated.  He couldn’t move his back legs.  We took him to Dr. R. our cousin/veterinarian extraordinaire and she said he was among other things, extremely malnourished.  We hadn’t noticed that the other turtles had been hoarding all the food.

For weeks we fed him supplements, antibiotics, and tried to help him build the strength back in his legs and it seemed for a couple of days he got a little fatter and more vibrant.  Then suddenly he stopped eating and declined rapidly.  I wouldn’t have thought him anywhere near his death bed Thursday night when I put him to bed, but Friday when I picked him up to put him on his basking rock he was limp and we couldn’t wake him up.

We get picked on a bit for our intense attention to our pocket pets, but I don’t get why they would deserve any less care than bigger, more traditional pets.  Do you?

Getting Better Grades with A Proper Work Environment

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My Son, almost 14, brought home a progress report last week that I am so proud of. He had a “D” in art class, a “C-” in Language Arts, an “A” in gym, and “Bs” in Science and Social Studies.  I’ll tell you why that is so fantastic and how it happened.

In case you haven’t read here before, my son Drew has some MEAN ADHD.  He is already on a higher dose of medicine than most kids and he could stand to go higher, as far as sitting still in class and focusing on a lecturing teacher goes.  But the higher the dose, the lower the appetite and harder it is to get to sleep at night, so we have found this happy medium that starts wearing off during last hour which is gym class (how perfect is that?).   Homework time is tough for him, but we are figuring out secrets to that too.

School has always been a challenge but Middle School has been killing us.  This is our third year in the big building with the bigger kids, multiple teachers, and higher expectations.  In addition to the actual work done at school, Drew is overwhelmed at the start of each new year by the number of teachers he has, learning his route to each class, etc. Same as all other kids. Just a little magnified.  His pattern has been that his work really suffers the first month of school while he gets comfortable and into a routine, then the grades build up to a nice last marking period set of grades, but not really a cumulative record that reflects his work or his potential. There is no shortage of D’s and E’s in that first marking period.  That’s why the only one “D” was so exciting this year.

By the time the kids get home from school they are antsy and getting tired and when they pull out their homework they are lazy and lay down on the floor with it and don’t have their materials and they bicker with each other and on and on.  You probably know what I am talking about. We have tried different things and in different areas of the house and have found that by setting up a little common area with a mini supply of pencils, erasers, calculator, paper, etc., they stay focused and do better quality work.

I thought the key was the posture and kind of feeling like they are in the classroom so I tried putting them at the kitchen table. I bet that would work for you if you have a place to keep those supplies handy, but we don’t. And it just turned into more distraction… looking out the window and thinking about food.  So for us a set up in the living room is proving effective.

I keep a pretty wicker tray on the coffee table now that has most everything they need for most assignments.  Sitting on the floor working on the coffee table gives them the freedom to squirm in their seats a little, stretch out their legs and get comfortable while still maintaining an active position, as opposed to the lazy laying down.  They have what they need so they are not constantly up and down wasting time and losing track of what they were doing.  And it’s in a cozy area where their Dad and I can sit nearby so they don’t feel lonely and we can provide the gentle reminders to stay on task as well as the assistance they need, WHILE still working on little tasks of our own.  This comfort is its own little reward since for the last few years homework time has consisted of tantrums, crying, and much frustration. We never imagined a quiet cozy family time and doing homework to be one in the same.

Even when we were just in the thinking and planning stages of adopting children I thought about what kind of changes I would like to make to convert our house from the swinging singles party pad to a warm, inviting, and more functional family home.  And I always thought it would be neat to have a room set up similar to a classroom, for studying, playing board games, doing homework, etc.  At the time I didn’t make the connection that it would actually benefit their school work, I just thought it would be fun.  Now seeing the success from just a little organization, I am thinking about setting up a comfy, cozy classroom/art room/play room in the basement again and am on the lookout for discount classroom furniture and accessories.  Our cozy spot now is nice but as they get older and their projects get bigger I am afraid their needs will take over my living room!

I wonder what you all have set up for homework time for your kids?  Any special tips or tricks you’d like to share?