Controlling Christmas

I am a stone cold bitch when it comes to decorating my Christmas tree. At least I have been up until now. It is not easy to admit that because Christmas and holiday decorating are supposed to conjure up images of comfort and joy, not a mad woman barking instructions and rolling her eyes. “Too high! Too low! Too similar! Take it down, do it over, take a time out if your heart’s not in it!”  This year was different, though. This was the year I decided to give up control of the Christmas tree.

My  big beautiful silver & blue tree of my dreams is one of the few things I have managed to remain in control of since becoming a parent so perfect ornament placement is just one of the reasons I struggled with letting go.  Also, my house is not very big, but as I mentioned, my tree is! So I always have this fear that if the tree is a Charlie Brown mess, the whole house will take on a sad, ugly, Charlie Brown quality. I didn’t say it was a rational fear.

There are storage solutions and space savers available to us such as plasma mounts, shelving units, and under the counter numbers, to make more space, but seriously, this tree takes up the whole room.

It is only now that I sit down to write this that have taken the time to think about why it was so easy to let go this year: I think I have realized that life is stressful enough right now. Hopefully I am learning a “don’t sweat the small stuff” lesson in general, but this year in particular has been difficult for people, and me for sure. I am not really excited about Christmas - so much on my mind and so little in the bank has crowded out the holiday spirit that’s trying to tickle me and make me smile.  So as we dragged up the decorations from the basement and I felt the stress mounting, I poured a glass of wine and told the kids to have at it. You know what? It’s more beautiful than ever.

Don’t get me wrong, we still have basic rules about how to space out the spinners and what kind of bulbs go on them, and I was still in charge of the strategic placement of a few key pieces.  It’s still my tree dammit, and I wanted to be able to enjoy it even after the Lambrusco buzz wore off.  Most importantly, all the “special” ornaments, i.e. off color scheme gifts, homemade & those otherwise not meeting top branch criteria, are to be placed on the back of the tree where they can be protected and privately enjoyed by the family.  Win-win.

I caught a report today talking about how December 25, 26, and January 1st are the biggest days for heart attacks and I plainly see why. From the money spent, stress of visiting family to outdoor lights and Christmas tree decorations, this things are supposed to be anticipated with joy and warm our hearts, not break them! How did we get here?  second thought: How do we fix it?