Technology often gets a bad rap for being impersonal and creating gaps in relationships. I disagree. With my therapist as my witness I proclaim that Text messaging has strengthened my marriage.
My husband and I have been together since 1988. I fell in love with him at 19 and although our relationship has endured ups and downs, we have always chatted, giggled, and enjoyed one another. Until we became parents, that is.
Becoming Mom and Dad over night to a 3 and 7 year old was stressful on our lifestyle (we knew that going in), to our bank accounts (expected, but we underestimated), and to our marriage (didn’t even see it coming!) For a brief moment early after the adoption my husband and I really bonded and took comfort in knowing we were in it together. But as the children’s behavior seemed to worsen for a while and became so unpredictable ON TOP of the financial strains and IN ADDITION to our sudden lost freedom, we didn’t find comfort in eachother anymore. We found fault and we began to place blame.
We couldn’t blame or punish the kids for what was happening to us, so we took it out on one another. We didn’t necessarily fight or yell a lot. We just stopped enjoying one another. We saved our energy and best of everything we had for the kids. We forgot to save something for us. We didn’t chat or giggle for a couple of years. We didn’t consult or console one another. We were so exhausted by the time we got the kids to bed each night and paid the bills that we had no energy left to discuss the day’s events and focus on anything fun or light that may have happened. We turned into two separate people trying to survive.
Now that is just our story. There are all different reasons that couples fall out of like. The love still exists buried deep beneath all the stress, worry, anger, resentment, etc. But you don’t so much “like” or enjoy one another.
Then one day I bought my Hubby a new cell phone. Both of our contracts were up. I was at the AT&T store shopping for mine and I thought about how unhappy Hubs had been with his Nextel. They had some sales and rebates so I bought him one with a qwerty keyboard. I had seen him trying to text with the guys at work and struggle with that standard keypad.
Hubby loved the phone almost as much as he loved the pricing benefits of our new combined account. He started sending me these DUMB forwards that got passed around work. Every once in a while one would catch me that was so funny that I would reply excitedly. Then he would reply. Soon we were CHATTING! From there we started sharing funny little things that happened in our days that didn’t warrant interrupting our jobs to make a phone call but could quickly and easily be shared with a text message. These little anecdotes were things happening in our lives that for years had gone on NOT KNOWN by the other.
It hit me, not only did we not know anything about one another anymore, but we had forgotten how much we have in common and how interesting we are to each other. So there we were sharing dumb jokes, then sharing experiences throughout the day, and it wasn’t long before we were FLIRTING! Can you imagine? After almost twenty years together we started flirting again! And on a totally un-romantic note it has also been really convenient be able to remind each other of tasks and help one another making shopping decisions, take out choices, and stuff 
There was a time when getting a toll free phone line was the coolest thing I could think of. Then came along call waiting, three way calling, voice mail, caller i.d. and so on! All great stuff! I would trade them all away for text messaging if I had to. Text messaging may just have saved my marriage.
Do you text? How do you feel it impacts relationships?
I”m happy for you, it saved your relationship. In text messaging, not all saves relations, it sometimes ruins relationships, illicit affairs develop quickly, in the case of my husband who had dated a girl he met thru internet chatting and started texting her until i caught him. he was stupid enough to leave his phone lying around until i read the message with love notes. March 16, 2009
When you’ve got kids it becomes almost impossible to flirt or be naughty in person, texting gives you a chance to express that side of your relationship safely. Without it there’s not much more than a business relationship left.
Texting can safe the relationships, without texting we are not able to
support this unique feeling that connects us
As someone commented, texting saves relationships but it also ruins relationships of some.
I’m glad that in your case, a positive result happened. Little things such as sending SMS can do wonders for a relationship.
Nice, keep posting such stuff in the future as well. We will be looking at you.
Thanks
What a really great blog post. I am just flabbergasted that you adopted 2 children at the same time. That had to be an amazing challenge.
Your texting idea is superb. I am almost 40, and I am still getting my fingers used to texting on such a small pad, but still, what a great way to “flirt” with our significant other.
My wife and I have a 3 year old, and I understand all too well spending all energy on the kid, and none on yourselves.
Kudos…!
thanx for sharing this…i do the same…sometime you can not say on the face but in text or message you can express it….and it doesnt hurt that much like face-to-face.
I kind of this pet peeve about people randomly stop texting me in the middle of a conversation. I asked my girlfriend if she got her phone taken away and i kinda got pissed off at her and said if she wanted to talk to me ever shed have to text me. yes that was dumb i know. Now she said i dont know where this relationship is going. I apologized for the message and everything. We dont hang out that often because she always has cheerleading. What can i do to save our relationship?
Thanks for posting such kind of usefull information.Keep Posted in future as well.Thank you!
This is true text messaging is a relationship saver
I am really very happy for you, it saved your relationship.Texting can safe the relationships by supporting the unique feeling which connects us. keep posting such type of stuff in the future as well.Thanks
texting is really convenient for you can say whatever you want if you can’t say it verbally or personally.. Texting is fun and cheap
I agreed with you …we can hurt some one easily but if we want express our feelings we cant do it really a painful thing …Texting really helps us to say sorry
Good post mate
I really believe that both texting and emailing add continuity to a relationship. There are times to talk however, I find that I’m able to easily and much more quickly disseminate my thoughts at times through an email or text. Also, if you have a few moments to get a message across either through text or email during your work day, you can control the amount of time it takes to connect with your loved one, especially if your time is limited.
I’m all for it!
Thanks for letting me post.
I am real very bright for you, it blest your relation.Texting can harmless the relationships by activity the unique belief which connects us. resource transmittal specified typewrite of sundries in the futurity as comfortably.Thanks
I am really glad that I found your site.. Thanks so much for the helpful information.
I must agree technology really give us a big help in our daily lives. Nice read.
wow! congrats to you for being happy again. I am agreed that texting is way more cool than calling now. you can do it without anybody noticing you
I love this post! I do that with my boyfriend too. We always email eachother or send eachother messages on msn through out the day and we really have fun sharing funny stuff at work.
I love this post! I am really very happy for you, it saved your relationship. Texting can safe the relationships by supporting the unique feeling which connects us. but some times it also ruins the relationships. I agreed with you, we can hurt some one easily but if we want express our feelings we cant do it really a painful thing. At that time Texting really helps us to say sorry….
Keep posting such type of stuff in the future as well.Thanks…..
yes dear according to my thinking it is true that some kind of text can save your relationships. because sometimes we can hurt someone by speaking any thing but if we tell her the same thing by writing in words then it will b more grateful.
wow. it’s good to hear that texting saves your relationship. for sure it helps. if you don’t want to see or talk to each other, you can use cellphone and text the message you want to say. but for sure the love you had and the love your partner has for you saves your relationship. it is because you love each other that’s why your love continue.
Nice article, really detailed; and you have covered some really important aspects.One other advantage is there, which is very crucial.
Thanks for all the comments. I was sorry, though, to hear that texting had the opposite effect for some folks. I had not considered that possibility!
Very interest post. I agree that texting has a net positive effect.