Ever since I saw the movie NIGHTS IN RODANTHE I have been daydreaming about lazy days spent tending to a big old cottage on the ocean, and evenings spent sipping chamomile and reading in an Adirondack chair on the patio.  I know it kind of sounds like an old lady way of life, but things have gotten so hectic in the last years since the adoption. Then the economy took its plunge creating more stress not only for me and my family but everyone across the country. In light of all the stress, NIGHTS IN RODANTHE has become my happy place, in my mind. The story, of course, of love FINALLY found then abruptly taken away is heartbreaking and I don’t think about that.  I just think about the house, the beach, and the ocean breeze.  Lately I have even been browsing Outer banks foreclosures to familiarize myself with what kinds of poor neglected houses are out there, waiting for me to find my way to the perfect one. Some day…

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So I am still trying to get back to school. I have a feeling I could say, “I don’t have time” and “I can’t afford it right now” forever. It’s like having kids. You can never afford them. You just start your family and adjust, right?  I stumbled upon a new online degree program that sounds really rewarding and affordable.

On one hand, an online degree is a no brainer for me. I am comfortable here, I enjoy doing things online.  It does not take any time away from  my family and I can attend class at any hour to suit the needs of my family.

HOWEVER

I think I am suffering from not enough real live human interaction. Am sure of it in fact. When I originally decided a few months ago that I wanted to go back to school it was for three reasons…

• to fire up my brain again to the world & topics outside of family and parenting
• to have to leave the house, sit in class, and mingle with people
• maybe to get a degree, although that was not really all that important to me

HOWEVER

A few months have passed and having been considering going back to school as a real possibility, the idea of a degree has become more appealing.  That’s where WGU got my attention. It is a fully accredited and ACCELERATED program.  The accelerated part dazzled me when I read it.  You don’t receive your credits according to time spent and tests passed… but by assessment… and you can complete as many credits in one term as you are able all for the price of one term! What?! I know!  That means you could get your masters degree online in a fraction of the time of a traditional program, and a fraction of the cost as well!

Now I say YOU could. I am sure I would be using the maximum time to get through.  But the point is… no wasted time and money covering stuff you already know. Tuition is roughly $3,000 per semester regardless of how many credits you complete.  WGU is a non profit school so which is why it is so affordable. Students can start at the beginning of any month and are matched up with their own mentor to help them along.

For a degree driven desire to go back to school I think this is a great program. But I don’t know… I still think I would benefit from getting away from this computer and interacting with students and faculty. What do you think?

Or is it. Am I at my limit or am I becoming set in my ways?  Do I need to buckle down or do I need to relax? I’m confused. I want a dog. A puppy specifically. I NEED something small and helpless to care for, it seems. I am in my 40s now and my body is doing weird things to me. Everything I was doing for it before is apparently not sufficient anymore.  My wants and needs have flip flopped. My whole goals and dreams system suddenly looks like someone else’s bucket list. What is happening to me? Realistically a puppy is just one more thing, though, for me to neglect or stress out over. Just like the pool.  I have desperately wanted a pool/hot tob for years to burn calories and stress during the day and relax at night.  But then I think spa filter! chemicals! winterizing! AH! That’s just more stuff to do and buy! What if the pay off isn’t bigger than the investment? That cute little bull dog might just be what pushes me over the edge! Why do I want these new things, anyway?  These two examples, i just realized, both seem to be of a relaxing nature. Maybe I am trying to tell myself something?  Maybe it’s not that I need to focus on all that needs to be done around here, but rather taking some time to relax and enjoy. Hmm.  I’ll obsess over it from that angle for a while and see what comes of it. What do you think?

My computer is constantly getting bogged down by its cluttered up hard drive. It is on my list to clear up the junk. It is on my list to research storage solutions. It is on my list to have breakfast but here it is almost noon and I have not even accomplished that. I don’t have time to research things for personal reasons, I barely get it done for obligation. Now what?

Duh! Online backup! With services like shutterfly and mymotherboard out there GIVING storage away, it is a breeze to have our photos, files, and important data protected and accessible, even without being on our computers.

I just wanted to share that “duh moment” but now that we’re here… is anybody taking advantage of any of these services?   I have a couple in mind already that I want to try. Let us know what you’re using!

I did something so dumb this week. I can’t even claim that I never did it before. I do it a lot, actually. Usually the consequences are a little discomfort on my own behalf. Or are these only the consequences I see at the time?  What is this dumb occasional habit I have? I skip whole nights of sleep, often without time for a nap the next day, and don’t go to bed until the following night.

I skipped sleep Monday night but where I am usually fine until bedtime the next night, I fell down on the couch and didn’t wake up.  I didn’t tell my family goodnight. I didn’t clean up the kitchen, lock the doors or turn off the lights.  I didn’t lay out kids clothes for the next day or pack lunches.  I cannot even tell you all the potential issues that could arise from all that. Of course my husband closed up the house and put everyone to bed, but still… I started today about behind and I feel like crap about not being there for my family last night.  But there’s more.

I woke up somewhere in the night miserable with swollen glands and a hot feverish face.  My skin is itching and I am dragging.  My Son is home with the  mumps today and I am wondering if the lack of sleep left my body weakened and vulnerable to his bugs?  And I wonder how the amount of work I accomplished by pulling an all nighter would compare with my low productivity and things I am getting behind on today?

Beyond the discomforts I am feeling today, what damage is being done that I can’t see? Is it weakening my immune system in general?  Is it aging me a little more rapidly?  The best eye wrinkle cream cannot cover repeated sleep deprived lines and puffiness.  Vitamins and supplements can’t un-do intentional abuse.  Why is it so hard to take good care of ourselves?

We all know how to take care of ourselves right?  We just need occasional reminders to tend to ourselves like we tend to others.  I am feeling the reminder today, that’s for sure.  Maybe this can be your reminder too so you can skip some future crappy experience yourself.  Sleep deprivation is a terrible habit for me.  What’s yours?

When I was out this weekend shopping for my daughter’s November 1st birthday I could not believe the amount of Christmas stuff on display.  I know that every year I am surprised at the early appearance of the holiday goodies on the shelves but this year it seems like so much.  I have never been so late putting the finishing touches on my Halloween and daughter’s birthday shopping before so I was already feeling some pressure and that Christmas stuff made me tense.  But you know what?  It’s really not that early!

Forget about counting down the days.  Think about this… In less than two months it will be all over!  In less than two months you will have shopped, spent enormous amounts of money, exchanged & opened gifts, pulled out the decorations, sang the songs, consumed more yummy food & drink than would normally fit into your belly if you weren’t in the holiday spirit, baked the cookies, and put up, enjoyed, and taken down the Christmas tree.  TWO MONTHS!

When you think of things in those terms two months doesn’t seem like enough time to plan, act, and enjoy, does it?  It’s already time to send out the Christmas invitations and Holiday greetings, schedule the parties & cookie bakes, and dig out the decorations.  Otherwise you will be too busy to enjoy all the special treats & opportunities that present themselves between now and the new year.

We lost another pet and it is really disappointing.   It’s been three days since we tried to revive our turtle Joey from what we were all frantic to believe was just a deep deep sleep.  But he didn’t wake up.  You might remember the telling of putting our hamster to sleep last year when he got sick with cancer and infection.  You might think that would be a tougher loss because it’s easier to imagine bonding, snuggling, and interacting with a big fat hamster than a hard shelled no hugs turtle, but you’d be wrong.

Of course the loss of our furry friend was tough, too. Watching him suffer was heart breaking. But Joey joined our family at just about the same time we adopted our kids and he helped us all to bond and get to know each other.  He’s been a part of our family for as long as we’ve been a family so it is just different for him to not be here.  I can tell the kids feel it too.

You don’t hug or necessarily communicate with a turtle like you do some other household pets but he did react to someone entering the room or hanging out at the aquarium watching him swim.  Turtles are very fun and relaxing to observe. Even just the sound of his tank and the constant motion of him swimming about kept a tranquil energy moving through the house.

We kept the turtles from school with us over the summer. We had them stay for shorter periods throughout the year and things were fine but summer vacation might have been too long.  It was the week before school when we noticed Joey was swimming funny. Kind of lopsided.  I didn’t notice the weight loss until I picked him up and his shell seemed deflated.  He couldn’t move his back legs.  We took him to Dr. R. our cousin/veterinarian extraordinaire and she said he was among other things, extremely malnourished.  We hadn’t noticed that the other turtles had been hoarding all the food.

For weeks we fed him supplements, antibiotics, and tried to help him build the strength back in his legs and it seemed for a couple of days he got a little fatter and more vibrant.  Then suddenly he stopped eating and declined rapidly.  I wouldn’t have thought him anywhere near his death bed Thursday night when I put him to bed, but Friday when I picked him up to put him on his basking rock he was limp and we couldn’t wake him up.

We get picked on a bit for our intense attention to our pocket pets, but I don’t get why they would deserve any less care than bigger, more traditional pets.  Do you?

My Son, almost 14, brought home a progress report last week that I am so proud of. He had a “D” in art class, a “C-” in Language Arts, an “A” in gym, and “Bs” in Science and Social Studies.  I’ll tell you why that is so fantastic and how it happened.

In case you haven’t read here before, my son Drew has some MEAN ADHD.  He is already on a higher dose of medicine than most kids and he could stand to go higher, as far as sitting still in class and focusing on a lecturing teacher goes.  But the higher the dose, the lower the appetite and harder it is to get to sleep at night, so we have found this happy medium that starts wearing off during last hour which is gym class (how perfect is that?).   Homework time is tough for him, but we are figuring out secrets to that too.

School has always been a challenge but Middle School has been killing us.  This is our third year in the big building with the bigger kids, multiple teachers, and higher expectations.  In addition to the actual work done at school, Drew is overwhelmed at the start of each new year by the number of teachers he has, learning his route to each class, etc. Same as all other kids. Just a little magnified.  His pattern has been that his work really suffers the first month of school while he gets comfortable and into a routine, then the grades build up to a nice last marking period set of grades, but not really a cumulative record that reflects his work or his potential. There is no shortage of D’s and E’s in that first marking period.  That’s why the only one “D” was so exciting this year.

By the time the kids get home from school they are antsy and getting tired and when they pull out their homework they are lazy and lay down on the floor with it and don’t have their materials and they bicker with each other and on and on.  You probably know what I am talking about. We have tried different things and in different areas of the house and have found that by setting up a little common area with a mini supply of pencils, erasers, calculator, paper, etc., they stay focused and do better quality work.

I thought the key was the posture and kind of feeling like they are in the classroom so I tried putting them at the kitchen table. I bet that would work for you if you have a place to keep those supplies handy, but we don’t. And it just turned into more distraction… looking out the window and thinking about food.  So for us a set up in the living room is proving effective.

I keep a pretty wicker tray on the coffee table now that has most everything they need for most assignments.  Sitting on the floor working on the coffee table gives them the freedom to squirm in their seats a little, stretch out their legs and get comfortable while still maintaining an active position, as opposed to the lazy laying down.  They have what they need so they are not constantly up and down wasting time and losing track of what they were doing.  And it’s in a cozy area where their Dad and I can sit nearby so they don’t feel lonely and we can provide the gentle reminders to stay on task as well as the assistance they need, WHILE still working on little tasks of our own.  This comfort is its own little reward since for the last few years homework time has consisted of tantrums, crying, and much frustration. We never imagined a quiet cozy family time and doing homework to be one in the same.

Even when we were just in the thinking and planning stages of adopting children I thought about what kind of changes I would like to make to convert our house from the swinging singles party pad to a warm, inviting, and more functional family home.  And I always thought it would be neat to have a room set up similar to a classroom, for studying, playing board games, doing homework, etc.  At the time I didn’t make the connection that it would actually benefit their school work, I just thought it would be fun.  Now seeing the success from just a little organization, I am thinking about setting up a comfy, cozy classroom/art room/play room in the basement again and am on the lookout for discount classroom furniture and accessories.  Our cozy spot now is nice but as they get older and their projects get bigger I am afraid their needs will take over my living room!

I wonder what you all have set up for homework time for your kids?  Any special tips or tricks you’d like to share?

It’s time to bring in the patio cushions, cover the grill, and empty the flower pots.  What a bummer. Winter itself can be so pretty when the snow covered trees and landscape sparkle like a winter wonderland.  But day to day, until the lights go up, my house looks kind of ugly.

I often laugh at how early people put their Christmas lights and decorations up but suddenly I think I get it.  It’s because they are thinking ahead how bad the back deck and yard looks once the frigid cold hits and all the leaves and flowers are gone.  They are being proactive because they know that once it gets to that ugly point where you want to hang lights and plant blinking deer… it’s too late! It’s so cold your little fingers feel like they’re going to break right off while wrapping the garland around the mailbox.

Suddenly, instead of making fun of the early  decorators, I think they are geniuses.  What I misread as overly enthusiastic holiday cheer is actually advanced planning and strategy.  I still plan to put the Christmas tree up the day after Thanksgiving, but I think I’ll start planning my outdoor holiday decorating so I’ll be prepared whenever that one or two nice days hit after Halloween.

When do you put up your holiday decs?  Better yet… When do you take them down? There’s a whole other topic!

At the beginning of the 2008  school year I got more aggressive on behalf of my Son who struggles with severe ADHD and was having a tough time in school.  At the time he was entering 7th grade and I knew we were running out of time to find successful strategies for him before he heads to the high school.  6th grade was terrible. 7th was stressful but a huge improvement.  So far 8th grade is even better.

What is responsible for the improvements? Finally finding the right ADHD treatment for us, and the change from a 504 to an IEP at school.

With regards to treatment we have been experimenting with medications and dosages for years. We finally found the one that allows him to best focus at school but still allows him to have an appetite and sleep at night.

Despite our struggles in school, all the school would do for my son is qualify him for a 504.  Basically a 504 mandates the removal of potential barriers in the student’s education but, unlike the IEP,  does not provide any special tools or assistance.  In addition to even light amounts of homework taking hours to do after school, Andrew struggled inside the classroom.  After staying up all night doing his homework, he would get nervous and distracted and either forget to pull it out of his backpack for each class, or stuff it in his desk while the other kids were passing forward or dropping on the teacher’s desk.  During timed tests he would drift off.  Classroom distractions prevented him from hearing much of the teacher’s instruction. 6th grade resulted in many D’s, E’s, tears, confrontation, and eventually a mama meltdown at school.

In 7th grade I started off much more firm and prepared, and demanded a meeting and walked in with my list of demands.  I could tell the new team of teachers and support had already drawn their conclusions about me, based on communications with the previous team. Regardless, I was able to convince them that the 504 wasn’t working and the IEP is what we needed.  There was still a lot of struggle at home at homework time and on behalf of the teachers to help him remember to turn things in and stay focused during class, but his grades soared. And the teachers slowly came around and understood that Andrew was facing challenges, not being a slacker.

As the first marking period of 8th grade comes to an end, our biggest struggle seems to be getting him to sit still long enough to do his homework after school, since his medication is wearing off. During school, however, thanks to just a few strategies put in place in the classroom and Andrew’s new found confidence in his abilities and relationships with teachers, he has made improvements beyond my expectations.

Age and maturity has a lot to do with this I am sure. “He will grow out of some of it” is something I have heard a lot over the last five years but had a hard time believing and counting on because we had no control over when or if that would happen.  What we did have control over is working with his doctor to make sure he was taking the right medication and working with the school until we found the strategies that worked for him.