This is not a post about drug addicts. Or any other addicts. It’s about a lifestyle – health connection. And in my mind I keep relating it to drug addicts but it would take too long to properly connect it all in one post. So I will preface this post by saying that it’s choppy and jumpy. And that you will never hear me pass judgment on anyone who can’t stop doing something they should stop doing, because even though I have never tried a single drug in my life, I can relate to people who have and have difficulty stopping.
I do not feel “good” today. I don’t mean because I have a sinus infection. I mean that IN GENERAL, these days I do not feel good. I have aches and pains inside and outside of my body. I’m tired a lot. And if I don’t take my supplements I am a cranky, moody, hot tempered version of myself that I don’t even recognize. I don’t have to feel this way, but I guess I choose to.
See, I know what feeling good feels like! I have been in tip top, feel good, almost in another dimension physical, mental, and spiritual shape. I could wear whatever I wanted. Eat whatever I wanted. Had a glowing smooth complexion and didn’t wear make up. I could see and hear things before they happened and feel the vibrations of everything living around me. But I didn’t understand HOW good it was. I knew I exercised more and ate better than most people but I thought that was just the secret to my great abs. I just assumed that all the other stuff was normal. That my expensive skincare products were taking good care of my skin and that everyone could meditate and have an open mind and connection with the universe. Wrong.
You know how I know it’s wrong? Because I feel so bad now. Even using the expensive skincare products and believing and knowing “the secrets” of the universe – My skin is still blotchy and it’s a wonder I can touch my toes – forget about any earth energy or vibrations! Ever since I adopted my kids and immediately lost track of my nutritional beliefs, I gradually transformed from a happy, optimistic, energetic, healthy person to an unhealthy, sore, grouchy, tired one. Turns out the food we feed our kids is not really healthy. Macaroni and cheese does not rid my body of toxins or improve the flow of my chi. Cap’n Crunch does not provide long lasting energy and mental focus to make the most of my day.
This morning I had a piece of frosted crust cherry bread with jet puff on it for breakfast. I don’t even LIKE that kind of food. But it’s here and it’s cheap and it’s easy. It was on the clearance rack at Kroger and was half the price of the bagels. I’m really busy at work this week because I couldn’t get work done while the kids were off school for Christmas. Jet puffed bread took no time to make and no time to eat. Perfect. Not. Did I even consider the calories in that mess before I ate it? The fat, the carbs, the cholesterol, THE SUGAR?! It’s all I can think about now! No, I sure didn’t think about any of that. Just made another bad choice.
Now understand, I am not simply talking about weight management here. Although I’m sure extra weight is a factor in some of the aches, pains, and sluggishness. I’m talking about overall functionality of the mind – body machine. I need a tune up. I know you know what I mean.
Getting from there to here I have had time to experiment. For instance, for years I continued with pricey beauty regimens but the condition of my skin continued to decline. When I returned to different versions of my healthy lifestyle for very short periods of time – things got better. My skin glowed. My hair got thicker and prettier. And I had less pain. Fewer headaches. But every time I made those changes – I changed back. And the poor health returned.
Instead of making a commitment to living well I yo yo diet and pump myself up with supplements. I know that I can treat a migraine drug free, but it’s so much easier to pop Advil. I can’t fit into my dancing pants anymore, but who cares? I don’t go out dancing anyway.
I know that eating more natural and leaner foods will make me healthier, happier, and more successful in every aspect of life. I also know that my present lifestyle, though not necessarily life threatening, is holding me back and will shave years off my life. I have known this for 5 years – and still haven’t changed.
So you see? I too am making bad choices every day that affect my health, my life, and the existence of people around me who depend on me. But nobody judges me as harshly as a drug addict who really only made ONE bad choice – to try drugs – and got hooked. I adopted an easy unhealthy lifestyle because life got hard and I was looking for shortcuts. That’s a big factor in addiction. So why is the drug addicted mom judged so harshly? I understand that the outcome of her actions may be more severe. But the path she took to get there likely took no more heinous action that taken by you or me in any bad choice we have ever made. But the glue of her addiction is an infinite amount stronger than whatever has a hold on you or me.
Take a minute to think about your vices and bad habits. Have you tried to quit? Why haven’t you been successful? And what about the food you eat? Do you always make the right choices?