My Mother’s Day wishes might seem lacking in the sentimental department, but I would disagree. Instead of sending my family out shopping for Mothers rings and perfume, I want a bbq grill and a gym membership. What do you think?

Yes, two things. I have two children. OR one could be from hubs and one from the kids. Or one from the kids and one from the dog. Point is – there are many scenarios that make two gifts appropriate.

A new gym opened 5 minutes from my house. $20 and it includes tanning. It’s getting harder and harder to work in workouts at home and I’m feeling sluggish and round. Also my doc says I would benefit from some artificial light so tanning is like a Rx for me. And my grill! My stupid grill has been only half lighting for 3 years. I love grilling because it’s healthy, delicious, and easy to clean up.

If Mama’s not feeling good, nobody’s gonna feel good, right? Sluggishness and the frustration of a buggered up grill do not make me feel good. The gym membership with tanning and fully functioning bbq grill will improve my health & well being as well as that of my family, and therefore can be described as a most selfless Mother’s Day request. Typical of a Mom =)

My kids have discovered music. I mean REALLY discovered their own interests as opposed to simply liking everything I like. I’m excited for them to develop into their own people, but a little troubled too.

Each stereo speaker stands taller than my daughter and she loves to stand right in front of it and sing. It was super cute when she was singing the music from HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL. But now, at 11, there’s something that puts me off about the bass bumping behind her while she belts out every word of Eminem’s LOSE YOURSELF.

I remember being a kid and loving music and sometimes having to fight to be allowed to listen to what I enjoyed.  I’ve never believed in censorship of the arts. Both of my kids are adopted and they have some real confidence and loneliness issues that come and go with the days or years. For reasons like that, I get that they can identify with someone like Eminem. I am just conflicted by the language.

To their credit, my kids never listen to it in front of me. Not that they’re hiding it, they discuss the songs and the lyrics with me all the time. I think they just figured out that I would give them less grief if I didn’t have to listen to them listening to it. My son is 15 so I’m not as concerned about the language with him, but he was my daughter’s  gateway to rap music (and scary movies). I wish we could have waited a couple more years before she was exposed.

I have spent a lot of time thinking about it and I have realized that compared to some of the music on the radio, Eminem is like Disney! Is Rihanna kidding me with S&M?  First of all, that topic is inappropriate for public daytime radio. And even though the kids call it “spaghetti and meatballs” and don’t know what it is they’re talking about,  I don’t think it’s appropriate for us to be listening to Rihanna talk about liking the smell of the sex in the air. And have you ever listened to the words of Katy Perry’s Extraterrestrial? You should.

Really it takes so much to get me worked up but this definitely does. And it’s not even 100% the content, I don’t think. It’s that you’ve got Rihanna partially marketing herself to kids. Showing up at the kid’s award shows and such. Same for Katy Perry. She is geared toward kids and even sings a song about aliens – HELLO! Kids love aliens! But Katy’s aliens are dirty.

On one hand I don’t want to censor artists anymore than my kids and the music. And when it comes down to it, it’s my job to control what my kids see and hear, and keep an open dialogue with them regarding everything to which they are exposed. But maybe if the artists took more time to make their image/demographic/content line up better, it would make things easier. What do you think?

I have written a bad check before, have you? It was a complete mistake caused by an $800 payment that accidentally posted twice, clearing out my bank account and putting me in the negative before I even knew it. It took some time and frustration to clear everything up, but it did get cleared up. The treatment I received for it, though, was insulting and predatory.

I don’t even write checks. I use my bank card for everything. But this particular day I couldn’t find my card so rather than continue digging through my purse I just wrote a check to the grocery store. It was for $25.  A few days later the crap hit the fan. I started receiving notices that all my payments were bouncing, including that $25 check. Penalty fees were already piling up.  Since I was already in the red, I didn’t have access to any money while it got sorted out so I couldn’t pay even the smallest charges. I also had to borrow money to live on.  What made it even more stressful was the calls and letters coming in from companies wanting their money. I explained the situation and told them I would keep in touch. It ended up taking a month to get the offending charge reversed but that didn’t put me back in the black because of all the fees that had accrued from my bank as well as all those to whom I bounced payments.  It took a little more time but my bank reversed HALF of the fees they charged me. This did not satisfy me from a customer service standpoint, and maybe if I’d been more familiar with the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act I would had even better results, but it did give me money to get back in business paying people off and living my life.

Somewhere before this all panned out, though, I received a letter from my county, Genesee County – from the “check fraud” department or something like that. I can’t exactly remember but it was scary – and it was from my county’s prosecutor, not a credit card company. Again, I can’t remember the exact details but the bottom line was that my $25 grocery bill had escalated to $350, I was required to take a check fraud class, and this offense was going to be on my record.

WHOA!

I called the number on the letter right away and explained the situation, the same way I explained it to the grocery store.  At first they blew me off but I called back, more forcefully, and explained that I would be getting documented proof that I did not knowingly write a bad check and that I did not intend to attend a check writing school. As if the embarrassment of taking the class wouldn’t have been undesirable enough, the cost of the class was ridiculous.

When all was said and done I still ended up paying $100 to clear up just that one ($25) matter.  And I couldn’t help at the time thinking about the people who fell prey to this who didn’t know they should ask questions. How many people just pay because they are told to and don’t want to get into more trouble than they are already in? I don’t know if this situation would have fallen under the Fair DebtCollection Practices Act because it was being administered by my own county prosecutor, not a credit card company. But how can you not question the integrity of a program that takes advantage of someone when they’re down. My case was unique, but if someone were to write a bad check at the grocery store, it is likely they don’t have much money. If their own elected officials would find it just to find a way to bump up their owed amount from $25 to $300 – how can we expect anything different out of predators like credit card companies?

I learned a lot about lawful scams,  and the intentions of people around me who are supposedly “good guys.”  I learned the only person who really cares about my well being is me. And I learned the importance of knowing my rights under the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act. Do you know yours?

The older I get, the less I can remember from my earliest days. There are a few flashes of the kindergarten class, cutting something with scissors in first grade, the in classroom lockers in second grade, playing “7 up” in class in third grade, and reading the quiet area in fourth grade. If I focus on each of those things for a minute, I can sometimes uncover more than a flash of that memory, as well as some others. But there a a couple of things I still NEVER have to stretch my memory to recall. Pets and swing sets. And it’s got me thinking.

I can vividly remember walking through Kmart with my parents and picking out a swing set, then going home and waiting very impatiently for it to get put back together. Then I can remember countless times playing – swinging on the swings, dangling from the rings, hanging upside down from the horizontal bar as well as the support bars on each side… but not so much about the sliding, though, now that I’m thinking about it. I think the slide was used more for hiding under when playing imagination games. But the swings … ahhhhh…. good stuff.

The other thing I can remember with ease is playing with my dogs.  Where “dogs” and “swing sets” both came to mind easily in general, my time spent over the years with Rocky, Moxnix, Tojay, and Diddles, is the most clear and abundant in memories. Tojay and Diddles especially, being the last two we had, conjure up emotion in me even now. Just like our current Yorkie=Schnauzer mix, Hobo.

We almost did not have a Hobo. For years Hubs and I had been saying we would get the kids a dog when we bought a bigger house with a better yard. Our house is small and very white inside so the thought of four little paws grubbing up the place was not exciting. Mama Mar had been telling us for years, though, that the kids needed a dog to focus on and feel good about taking care of, and that pets bring joy and love to households. We knew all that but it didn’t change the fact that our house was small and white.

Then one day “Hobo” showed up-  no collar, no tags, full of fleas, more bald patches than hair, and hungry. Hubs wanted to nurse him back to health and I was against it. I said it was because I knew that I would be the one taking care of it and being the buffer between Dad and Kids when things got messy, but really it was because I love dogs and I didn’t want to get attached and get the kids attached. They’d already lost parents and been through the foster care system. Consistency and stability is what was on my mind. Until I saw the dog. He was so cute, well behaved, and had a personality that fit right in with our family. The rest is history.

I hadn’t thought about this until this morning when I was thinking about the swings and pets of my childhood that I realized I almost made my kids miss out on the priceless, joyous experience of dog ownership.  All because I was afraid of getting my carpet dirty.

Our priorities can get out of whack, can’t they? Do you have a pet? Have you put off pet ownership or some other thing for fear of getting the house dirty? What do you remember fondly from your childhood?

So I’ve done a pretty good job over the last week clearing things off  my plate and have enjoyed some exhales. Even without extra stuff piling up, though, our day to day is filled with stuff to do and places to go and sometimes I just want to cancel everything and go to sleep. Not necessarily because I have so much to do, but because my body is shutting down. From neglect and such.

Moms, we know we have to take good care of ourselves so we can keep up and take care of the people who depend on us.  But it can be overwhelming. Especially when we have fallen so far off the wagon that everything has to be addressed, eating, exercising, meditating, detoxing, and so on.  I know from experience that although a total lifestyle makeover sounds inspiring and effective, it is extremely difficult to implement. So again – baby steps might be the key.

For me, I’m thinking that eliminating destructive behavior is the first stop. We need to give up easy fixes like adapexin-p and Rock Star energy drinks and create real energy in our bodies.  You know why but since I know some of you are stubborn and a little addicted, I will remind you. Diet pills are made for LOSING WEIGHT, not to give you the energy to finish everything on your daily list of what you feel makes you a good mom.  They are designed to be used short term. Energy drinks are to be consumed on occasion, not as part of a routine.  Even the Diet Mountain Dew I drink at 10pm on too many nights to meet a midnight deadline is a bad choice. Face this moms- when used otherwise, you’re walking a thin line over substance abuse, and your kids are watching.

Of course I have a lot more to do than giving up Mountain Dew, and breaking the caffeine addiction is only going to work if I get some good energy brewing in this body. One step at a time, though. Tomorrow I’ll eat more veggies.

My plate is full again. I can’t fit one more thing on it.

To begin with my Father In Law took very ill last week  and that has me fighting tears from the time I wake up until the time I fall asleep, exhausted. I’m in the middle of a real estate mess that will not go away, I’m behind with my work,  trouble with kids at school/at home, trouble in paradise if you know what I’m sayin’, various unfinished projects at home are cluttering my head… But it’s not all negative – don’t get the wrong idea.  It’s not that things are so monumentally bad – they’re just busy.

I’m getting lots of work which is fantastic! But it does take up space on my plate.  Getting busy selling nutritional supplements. I’m in the beginning stages of writing a book with a friend and a local institute documenting the affects of raw foods on teens with ADHD. This will be based on the week long study that Andrew and I are guinea pigging in this summer. Working on a new website/merchandising thing that I’m SUPER DUPER excited about. I also have some paperwork junk piling up that is becoming burdensome that would probably feel good if I just took a break from everything else and dealt with it… Hm. Maybe tomorrow.  Aaaand there’s one more thing.

I want to go back to school.  What the heck? I know I have talked about it before, sliding it in quietly while talking about nursing degrees or a chiropractic technologist program, but now I know what I want to do so it’s making it tougher to resist.  I have it narrowed down to two things.

I want to take some more writing classes of course.  And I want to get some sort of nutrition/dietitian degree with a heavy emphasis on raw foods to give me more expertise for a website/growing business I am helping a friend put together, and also because I know that foods are having a huge impact on the special needs of my family and I feel like I’m letting them down by feeding them stuff that not only prevents them from succeeding, but sets them up to fail. Geez – I have my dog on a special diet for his enlarged heart, but I keep on feeding my ADHD kids red dyes and sugar.  Cus it’s easy.  And I don’t have room on my plate for another thing, did I meantion.

So by airing all that out I think I’ve got a plan. No school until the temporary situations are resolved and cleared from my plate. In the meantime I will put together a plan to remove certain foods from our grocery list over time, while adding others, and put together new recipes. Taking baby bites you might say.

It is common to bite off more than we can chew. What’s your secret to keeping things simple and effective? Do you ever say “Yes” when you’re wishing you could say, “no?”

Cheese and Rice! Wireless speakers is the answer of course! The question – how do I get sound for this little netbook without mucking up my clean & portable writing existence?

My desktop computer, which is where I do my freelance writing, during my  ”office hours” is a dinosaur. It’s less than ten years old, but at the time I got it, wireless wasn’t as common an option as it is today. We had just adopted the kids and I was all about being practical and only spending what was needed. I am still randomly kicking myself when the mood strikes for that decision because all these wires – for the computer, the printer, modem, router, speakers, phone & ipod chargers – are killing me. Well, my creativity anyway. I tuck them away the best I can and it’s okay for the work day stuff. It’s the leisure time writing it was affecting.

So several months ago I started making payments on a netbook. It was helpful having two computers now that the kids both use them for school but I barely used it until it was paid for – in my newfound sense of (warped) frugality I didn’t think I deserved to use it until it was paid for, even though they’re only a couple hundred bucks.  So the netbook is what I use for my fun, creative work and play. But it doesn’t have sound without speakers or headphones. Most of the time I use headphones but I occasionally I want to share the sounds. I have a pair of wired speakers in the basement that I could put to use but I’ve been dreading the idea of adding wires. It will lead to something bad, I’m sure of it. Then it hit me as I was re-reading a post I wrote about home automation – I bet I can get wireless speakers. Duh.

So I googled it (what else would I do) and yes they are available, but no they don’t fit my recently retired from real estate sales/starving artist budget, but I know there is a solution which actually goes a long way to easing my irritated mind.  And although it’s not in my budget right now, it is totally in Santa’s. Right Dad? Hehe.

How wireless are you?

I have a very busy 11 year old daughter. She is creative and artistic. Bold and sassy. Curious. Impulsive. Creative.  She also has ADD. She is also lazy. Do you know what all those things add up to? Messy. She dives into things, tears out everything in her quest to find what she is looking for or to create her latest masterpiece, but then getting her to clean it up is next to impossible. But that’s not even what’s bothering me. It’s the digging around and tearing things out that is driving me crazy.

When she gets it  into her head what she is looking for, for whatever she is working on, she goes digging for it. In her closet, under her bed, through her drawers… which is fine. Her stuff, her mess. But when she doesn’t find what she wants, she goes elsewhere. Goes through my drawers, through the kitchen cupboards, through the piles of stuff I am trying to organize in the basement… She’s relentless when she hunts. Then she just kind of stashes things away, covers them up – makes them look like they’ve been untouched – until I get closer and realize all the folding, organizing, and sorting I’ve spent hours on is a mess.

Sometimes once she gets in there… she gets distracted from what she was looking for and gets curious by what she finds and looks for more interesting items.

On one hand is the privacy issue. She has found hidden presents, personal journals, candy stashes, jewelry, my long since stashed away old bridal lingerie… Come on! lol. I don’t even want to see it much less try and explain its design to an 11 year old!

But still – I am not even all that bothered by that as I probably should be.  The big problem is she the quiet, at first undetectable messes. And missing items. And broken things.

Because I have no answers for this I searched “kids who snoop”, “snoop kids” and such to do a little research on the matter. You would not believe how many google results there are for Snoop Dogg and kids.  But I didn’t find anything other than the general techniques to stop unwanted behavior.

So my question ends up being – not how do you solve the problem of a rummaging kid, but  is my kid the only kid in the world that rummages through the house – steals items of her mom’s clothing to sew a new creation, or digs through boxes of pictures and STAPLES them into her own album so she can take it to school and show her family to her friends? It can’t be… Can it?

Well now that I am self employed and pursuing a couple of businesses of my own, I am starting to think about how to market myself.  I have a lot of writing work but I would like to start to build assignment lists including more clients I enjoy and assignments that interest me, and less stuff that is dull and void of joy. Getting picky in my old age, huh?  I am completely grateful for having the opportunity to do what I love, which is write, but I’m still inspired to make it even better. So I’m browsing the job boards again looking for assignments specific to my interests. I’m also involved in a direct sales business of a wellness product. And a third project still in its infancy that I can’t discuss yet!  I am not making any extra money yet, but I am starting to think about marketing supplies. You know, like those promotional products for fortune 500 companies - the pens, the hats, bags, shirts, water bottles, mouse pads. lol.  I want to be a fortune 500 company and I want all those things! Sigh. Alas. There is not yet room in the budget for merchandising.  So I found a pen in the drawer that appealed to me and I personalized it with my old label maker. Whaddya think? Have I discovered a new business venture?

There was a time when hands free and remote control technology was viewed with humor and treated as luxury. But as technology has expanded and our lives have grown busier, home automation makes practical sense. Here are some examples…

Lighting. It began with the clapper and has evolved into the ability to control the lights from any room in the house and any place in the world – via the internet.  This is energy efficient, money saving, and promotes safety. Who would have ever thought?

Phone systems. Who even has time to talk on the phone anymore, much less pick up every time the phone rings. We are now able to screen out all calls except the ones that we’re looking forward to at any given time. The others calls won’t even ring in! I love this because I work from home and no one really knows what my hours are from one day to the next. I struggle with even looking at the caller ID because then I am faced with the choice of who to answer and who to ignore. With this feature I can program in the school numbers and block out all the rest so that I won’t even be distracted from my work by the ring.  Reduces stress and improves productivity. Love it!

Security.  Having a security system is a no brainer. But I like the feature of a system that allows a friend or family member access into my house when I request it, without having to give them a key or leaving the door unlocked. It is so convenient.

Sprinkler systems. Did you know that sprinkler systems can also be used as safety devices? In addition to setting them on timers and to detect if it’s raining and not turn on, they can be sensitive to motion at night and other times when you wouldn’t be expecting company. I bet that would deter some bad guys!

The bonus is that almost everything today can be done with streamlined remote controls and no wires, for easier control and more attractive appearance.

Home automation has come a long way. What are some of your favorite systems?