Category Archives: Uncategorized

Role Play Makes It Better

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Both of my kids have aged out of the dress up phase, but that doesn’t mean they’re out of dramatic play all together. The costumes may be gone, but we still have pretty close to any classroom supply of school furniture, tools, and accessories. They use them to play…. duh… school!

They never announce “Hey! Let’s play school!” I don’t even think they realize they’re doing it. But when they have homework- especially if my youngest has it and my oldest doesn’t -they just morph into character. To make the whole process of doing homework less miserable, of course. They get situated in a classroom like setting, get all the school supplies, and get to work. The oldest checks the work of the youngest and gives her praise for good work done.

Now let me say right there – that my kids don’t get along. They don’t encourage one another UNLESS some outside source is involved, then they become protective. So to see them interacting in such a positive way makes me very happy. The bonus is that with them working together on homework, it lets Dad and me off the hook. :)

My kids have been doing role play since they were very young. Right after the adoption – when the kids were 4 and 7 – our therapy included play therapy. The therapist used it to get the kids to open up, and to help us build bonds that we missed out on, having not been together in those early years. So for them to continue to use it even older in life makes sense.

I remember when I was a kid when I was cleaning the kitchen and doing dishes I used to pretend that I had my own kitchen show and I talked about cooking and cleaning tips to an imaginary camera. Or audience, I guess. ANYTHING to make the stupid job more fun. Have you ever used role play to make something more enjoyable. (Keep it G rated!!!) Do your kids?

Creating Some Beautiful Fall Centerpieces

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Guest post written by Pheobe Watson

It seems like I’m always having people over entertaining them at my home for a number of various reasons. I know that over the next couple of months all those little visits from guests are just going to keep increasing, so I need to make sure that my home is always ready for that. Having my home be presentable, in my opinion, includes having some really cute seasonal decorations.

I wanted to get a head start on the season’s decorations before my sister’s coming and visiting in a few weeks, so I did some research online for it with my Tampa wireless internet.

I found all kinds of ideas for fall table decorations and decided to go with something that I’d be able to use next year too. I found a way to preserve real leaves in wax and created a wreath to lay on the table with orange and cream colored candles inside of it. Understated, yet seasonally appropriate. When it comes to seasonal decorations, I like to make sure that they fit in with the look of the rest of my decor, just a cool version of it.

Tweaking the Office

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When my basement flooded in 2006, drowning a village of Polly Pockets and ruining my home office, I took the opportunity to move my office upstairs so that I wasn’t so separated from my family when I worked.  You would think that getting away from the fam would improve productivity but no. When I was downstairs they forgot about me and went wild. When I am upstairs they remember to behave. So I thought I’d give it a try. I shoved everything in an armoire in the corner of the living room so that when I am not working I can shut the doors on the cabinet and have the illusion of order and beauty. Opening those doors though – it was quite the opposite inside.

I overestimated its storage power of the armoire and didn’t consider how much space would be taken up by wires, modems, routers, and such. It gets really hot in there which slows my PC down. I also have trouble with my speakers because the wires are all tangled up with all the other wires rendering them unable to be moved around where I need them. They’re constantly falling down and in the way.  What would be nice is something like a set of wireless home theatre system speakers that I could mount up high – they would be out of the way and produce the best sound. The “tinny” sound of my speakers grates on my nerves sometimes so that will be a nice improvement to the office space. Maybe I will ask for that for Christmas. =)

I did break down and buy a wireless printer which has been awesome because it eliminated a few wires and increased functionality with the PC AND the netbook. I really can work from anywhere in or around the house now with the wireless netbook and printer.

Now I just need to figure out what to do with these piles of notebooks.

Where is your home office? Is there something you love about it that makes your work day especially enjoyable and efficient?

Succulent Energy

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This might sound odd but I have never been much for flowers. As a kid I would throw a fit if Mom tried to make me wear a shirt with flowers on it. For a short time I had a floral comforter that made me itch all night because I felt as though my skin was crawling with bugs from the flowers. I appreciate the sentiment behind roses, but I don’t find them particularly beautiful. The landscaping around my house consists of clean lines of neatly trimmed greenery and assortment of particular flowers. Day lilies, Asters, Gerber daisies, Purple Cone flowers, Clematis… these are all lovely and make me smile. But still I prefer my hens n chicks, herbs, and tomato plants. In fact, if I had my way, my home would be landscaped in herbs, vegetables, and succulents. How fun and tasty would that be?

My favorite plant was discovered while staying with a friend in San Francisco. Jade. I was immediately drawn to it when I saw it potted all over the house. I tried to smuggle some home but it didn’t survive much beyond the trip. I later learned it was often referred to as a money tree or a friendship tree. Succulents, such as Jade, retain water. That made sense to me too, since I am very comfortable and soothed around water, rain, waterfalls, rivers, and so on.

About 15 years ago my house was filled with plants. I went through a spell of having lost a lot of people and receiving lots of funeral plants … peace lilies, ficus, umbrella tree… I loved them all.  After the adoption, though, my time and organization no longer had room to care for so many plants so I gave them away to new homes. We have had a tough 8 years getting to know one another and nurturing the kids to health – never taking time to smell the roses – more specifically to even notice that there was nothing “living” or “flowing” through the house. I notice now and I don’t like it. I have a vision of filling up some spots with succulents and succulent arrangements but so far haven’t been able to find just what I want. I bet I could get what I needed from a custom flower delivery place, but that might be pricey. I’m still working on it.

It’s a gloomy rainy day today and I just thought for a second that it’s a weird day to have been inspired to write about flowers. But seeing how it brought me around to craving some water holding succulents in my home, I guess it makes perfect sense!

How about you? Is your thumb green? How do you direct the energy traveling in your house? What makes your house feel like a home?

Who, What, Why, What Will Be, and What Is: Bipolar Meds

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Well okay. I went through the trouble of that big explanation of why it’s been hard to write and giving myself permission to write about whatever I want. Within the rules, you know. The rules of privacy as drawn out by my children. So. I guess now is as good a time as any to get going. I’m still a bit scattered – staying up until wee hours researching medicines and occasionally bumping into random other things that snap out of the funk that the medicine obsession puts me in – how to get tickets to the Ellen show, Oooh a sale on womens snowboard goggles (cus I’m for sure gonna try it this year, right?), mojito recipes, etc. –  then back to the drug boards and symptom checkers. What’s with the medication obsession you ask?

Just about every day the nurse at the Mclaren center calls and changes my Son’s prescription. Mclaren is where his PHP (partial hospitalization program) takes place. When he was young he was on ADHD medicine as well as 2 other pills whose names I can’t recall, but they were for depression and anxiety. By the time he was 10 he was only being treated for ADHD. At the start of this PHP program he was taking Metadate cd to treat his ADHD symptoms.

Over the course of his first 7 days the doctor has added Depakote. Then Vistaril. Then tripled the Vistaril. Then bumped up the Depakote. Then yesterday they told us to discontinue the Metadate (for the adhd) . Just now they called and discontinued the Vistaril and put Seroquel in its place. To someone unfamiliar with bipolar disorder, drugs, and treatment, that is a lot of action in a short amount of time. But then I remember, he is under constant supervision from 9 to 3 every day and it makes sense that it would put them on the fast track.

But still I am troubled. Maybe if I had a better idea of their plan of attack and what issues they’re tackling… because right now it just seems like the main focus is MEDICATION. It’s not that I’m totally against medication, but I think in most cases we can get the same missing element to the brain via nutrition and supplements without having to depend on a chemical. Does that make sense? I don’t want him to struggle and right now the “chemical” is helping him cope while we learn the whys and whats of his condition. It’s just frustrating because it seems like I’m the only one concerned with the “whys and whats”, as a means to create a better “what will be”, while everyone else is happy simply putting a band aid on the “what is.”

Am I losing it?

 

To Blog or Not to Blog- That is the Family Dilemma.

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Alright. I’ve had it. This writer’s block is 50% distraction and 50% unsure how to handle sensitive family matters and the privacy of my loved ones. And I’m sick of it.

I started the year out by going on sabbatical from work and contemplating quitting that job and focusing on writing full time. The sabbatical ended up being a shit storm of anything but quiet contemplative time. I made my decision, though, to work for myself. I still love that decision. However. I don’t respect myself as a boss. Otherwise, why would my new writing career have gotten off to such a slow start?

In February I was officially a freelancer. And at the same time I also started selling V3 because I went crazy for the focus it gave me to be disciplined and focused on writing while sitting alone in the house all day surrounded by TV, books, laundry, a puppy, and chips & cheese.  And also because I wanted the discount =)  You know what else happened in February? Kidney stones. Tons of them. I was sick for a day, then in the hospital a couple days, then had a stone busting procedure followed by more sick days and more doctor appointments. I finally gave up following up. I knew I had a piece left cramped up in my left side but I was over all the doctoring. So I left it until it finally worked itself loose and tortured me for one final time last week. Now. Could I get up and around and do laundry and such during that time? Yes. But the days broken up between doctor appointments, as well as the pain and pain medicine, hindered my writing process. It made sense at the time, and had I picked up right after that and gotten productive I wouldn’t be so hard on myself thinking back on February. But the truth is, I could have worked more than I did. If I had still been working for D.O.C. or Dr. Foote I would have been back to work the next day. Sure I might have passed out in the bathroom or fallen asleep in the middle of my sentence back in my eyeglass days, but I never neglected to show up and do my best.

On the heels of kidney stone February was cancer March. Something new came up in my Father In Law’s condition every other day. He was in and out of the hospital every couple of days. When there wasn’t a decision to be made, a task to perform, or a pep talk to give, there was just quiet time to dwell. “Working for the man” would have been a blessing at that time because all I did, when I wasn’t doing, was cry. I couldn’t write each day about the topic at hand because I couldn’t get past “My Father in Law has cancer and we had a bad day.” Until I wrote that, nothing else would come. But I refused to write it. As if putting it out there would have made it more real and harder to deal with. When in fact, writing about it would have likely been very helpful to me. Maybe to somebody else, as well. And definitely to my bank account. Those bills continue to add up even when you’re distracted and grieving. Looking back it’s so easy to see how just a little writing each day would have eased the burden on my mind during the crisis and on my financial situation in the aftermath.

Sigh.

So here it is August and I should be well on my way to having a big fat pile of assignments again, even after losing so many clients during the cancer period. But guess what. After almost 2 months of erratic behavior my Son was diagnosed bipolar last week and is in a partial hospitalization day treatment program for risk assessment and anger management. And I haven’t written about it.I have a family blog and have not written word one about our situation today and how we got here.  Partially because I have been so distracted that I can’t focus on anything else. Partially because my son is 15 now and there is a chance that people he knows may stumble upon this blog. Here’s the deal though…

  • Life is full of distractions! Everybody has them, yet they go to work and manage their obligations. The world doesn’t stop moving, and neither can we. Allowing myself to stop and dwell has set me back in depression recovery from the breakdown of ’08 and created more stress in getting behind in bills and other responsibilities. Withdrawing from friends and social situations has robbed me of support from girlfriends and the opportunity to create fun, happy, healing situations to balance out the tough ones.
  • Writing is therapeutic. And I’m a writer! Internalizing things is dangerous for me. Also, leading into summer I redefined Her Family Blog and set up new blogging topic schedules. I did that for all my blogs actually, to make them more honest and informative. But how can I achieve that if I continue to censor myself?
I was wishing the other day that I had maintained anonymity with this blog so that I could do and say the things I want to say without worrying about the privacy of my kids. But then it was suggested to me that I simply ASK them how they feel about it. After some thought and discussion we decided “it’s just life.”  And whether we’re dealing with experimenting with new medications to treat bipolar disorder or experimenting with new hairstyles or homework techniques, they are just “happenings” in life. They “happen” to everyone. And although I may give my own deepest darkest thoughts and feelings, I don’t give theirs.
Because it’s not THEIR Family Blog. It’s HER Family Blog. And the HER is ME.
So it appears I’ve been given the green light as long as I share from MY perspective and not give out pieces of my kid’s thoughts and feelings without permission. That makes sense and I love that they helped me define my goals here and work through my writer’s block. They are smart kids. I’m sure we all share that perspective =)

Learning to Live Without

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My LP blogged last week about money. I’m copying her. She won’t mind. We both agree that money is a pain in the neck lately.

Okay. Maybe it’s not money itself that is causing so much headache, but like LP says, the fact that everything we want/need to do costs it. And so much of it! We were supposed to be going to a blogging conference together but money has rained on our social media parade. Airfare is almost $500. That’s hard to justify, especially when the family doesn’t get a vacation or anything fun this summer. So we’re trying to unload our conference tickets and move on. We have requested tickets to Anderson Cooper’s daytime show for December so we’re planning better and saving up for that airfare and lodging right now.

On a smaller, day to day, scale – money is putting a damper on quality of life at every turn. Gas prices have made it so we have to really think before going anywhere – even to visit friends who just live a town over. We have to seriously ration food. I’m not exaggerating this. My 15 year old bean pole son eats CON-STAN-TLY! I am thrilled about it because he is finally hitting that growth spurt that gets him out of the bottom percentile so I have to encourage it. But it’s stressful at the same time because my fridge is running on empty these days just like the gas tank! =)

A few weeks ago someone stole a duffel bag from my driveway when I wasn’t looking. It was full of make up, hair accessories & product, and little girls clothing. I cried. Hubs was like, “over react much?” He had no idea the value of that bag’s contents and how impossible it would be to replace it all at once. I got a few pieces of make up from my mother in law that was helpful. I’ve just adapted and learned to do without the other stuff. Like I have learned to live without so many other things over the last few years. Most of the time I’m flippant about it, but right now I’m feeling kinda pissy. Probably exhausted from the funeral and all the time surrounding it. In the grand scheme of things, losing a bag of goodies is minuscule to losing a great Father In Law.  But I can’t  curse the the robbers of my Father In Law now can I?  There’s no one for me to get mad at for that. I’ll never get either one back and it’s been really hard  learning to live without him. So where do I put all this anger and resentment? On a stupid bag, my stupid hair, and the stupid person that screwed it all up.

This isn’t a blog about money at all, is it?

Sun Tea – the Easiest Chore for Lazy Summer

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Thank you to cogdogblog for letting me borrow this awesome pic til I find mine! :)

In my household the adults are almost as excited for summer vacation as the kids. Why? No homework, and later bedtimes and rise times. After all those months of being on such a strict schedule it’s a relief to have some breathing room in our routine. I learned the hard way though that a flexible schedule still needs some structure and activity.

It may seem mean to some to have summer chores lined up for every day right from the beginning but without them, the kids don’t know what to do with themselves. They overdose on video games, stay in bed, raid the kitchen and waste food out of boredom, and eventually start fighting with one another and complaining. I don’t know about you but I am not on summer vacation and I cannot work under those circumstances. I wish I could play with them and entertain them all day but I can’t. I can, however, give them some daily responsibilities. When mixed in with scheduled fun activities, it reminds them NOT to bicker and complain about being bored, since Mom always has something for them to do. To keep them engaged and not waking up feeling like Cinderella every day, though, I try to make their to – do lists interesting by making rhymes and throwing in fun tasks that make them feel needed and accomplished.

The favorite summer chore is making the sun tea. It is very easy to make and the kids like being involved in making something that Dad and I enjoy and look forward to drinking every day. I write the directions out in the middle of the chore list so they can pretty much handle it on their own – it makes them feel independent - but I am nearby in case there is a question. I will include the directions that I write for my kids right below here so that you may share with your little Cinderellas. Don’t forget to modify the specifics to suit your household. :)

How do you keep your kids motivated & active during the summer> Do they have a favorite “chore?”

Drew & Sari’s instructions for sun tea

The iced tea pitcher is at the top right of the pantry. Bring it to the counter by the sink.

Rinse the pitcher out with cold water by filling it up once and dumping the water out.

Put 2 scoops of sugar from the big black spoon (that’s 1 1/2 cups) in the bottom of the jar.

Now fill the pitcher almost to the top with cold water. Don’t worry about the exact amount, you can’t get it wrong. I aim for just below the neck of the pitcher.

Open 14 tea bags being careful not to break the paper tabs off the strings. If you do it’s okay. It just makes it easier if you don’t. :)

Gently take hold of the tabs and strings so that the tea bags are hanging in a bunch and dip them up and down in the pitcher of water a few times. Each time they will go a little deeper as they get heavier from soaking up water. After 3 or so gentle dips, leave the bags floating on top of the water.

Put the lid on tight.

Pick a sunny spot outside on the back deck, like the patio table or the the grill counter.

Set the kitchen timer for 4 hours.

When the timer goes off, bring the tea in, gently stir it up or shake the jar a bit. Now it’s ready to pour over a glass of ice and enjoy. Thank you.

I Forgot to Keep the Kids Busy

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Wow did I ever make a mistake today. We have had a few very busy, long days in a row after just getting home from a few days on the lake. I didn’t plan any activities for the kids or even make any chore lists. I thought they would benefit from some chill time. Unfortunately chill time for my son comes in the form of Xbox Live HALO sitting right next to me, while my daughter draws Flip Notes & Hatena chats. My daughter isn’t bothering me at all, but I don’t necessarily feel good about her nose in her DSI XL all day. My son’s does bother me. There is loud nonstop shooting coming from the tv and yelling through back and forth through his headset. I think I am going to accept that there’s nothing getting done today and I should chill too. I wish I was back chilling at the lake!

 

 

 

 

Crossing the Road to Get to the Next Level

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I have decisions to make. Directions to pick. Roads to cross. And I can’t seem to quiet my mind long enough to sort it all out. Cus I also have deadlines to meet. Kids to feed. A house to support. So here I am 100% freelancing and I’m trying to figure out how to get it to the next level. I suddenly am not content just giving my opinion when I write, or sharing humorous anecdotes. I want to be an authority. I want to really make a difference somehow. My passion surrounds needy kids, adoption, ADHD, health & wellness, nutrition & fitness, and of course writing. As a kid I was sure that I was going to end up somehow connected to teaching people to read. I’m holding that idea close as I contemplate and see how everything comes together. I have never really regretted quitting school. I found good paying / enjoyable jobs right away. But now, moving in this unknown, yet specific direction, I am sure I need more education to go further.

What I want to do is not typical. If you want to be a teacher you go into education. If you want to get into business you can easily track down a on online business degree. But I want to get some kind of degree in nutrition/food/wellness/natural living. I also would like to have more a more authoritative voice in advocating adoption/local adoption and behaviors. Or maybe becoming more knowledgeable of ADHD and how to cope with that – and become an expert on practical ways to ease symptoms with changes in diet and such. So many options. Maybe I should just get an online business degree and certification in web development. I would like to learn how to code and build a bad ass website. See?

But no quiet time for me. Even right now while I work and try to form complete sentences my son is next to me playing Halo, plugged into a headset and barking orders at his team. Maybe I need a headset so I can talk to myself. Maybe I’d listen more.