I wish I was a quicker thinker and had a brain that could generate quick comebacks and zingers to deliver on the fly. I know that there are some people who think I am capable of doing that and they’re partially right. The problem is I can only do it from a computer monitor, spoken through my fingertips and a keyboard. Real time walking around me gets tongue tied and brain frozen. It’s frustrating because I have a lot of thoughts, ideas, and concerns but in person I simply cannot communicate them effectively.  My brain gets moving so fast and scrambles everything up. And when I can’t slow it down and pick out the parts I want to use and put it in an orderly fashion, it just shuts down. Goes blank. Nada. Bye bye.

There are a few topics that don’t trip me up as bad like my house, my family, my kid’s issues – stuff that I deal with all day, every day, and is on auto pilot really, requiring no retrieval when it’s needed. It’s saved on the desktop of my brain and launches into action as needed.

Because I often miss my moment and say, “OH DAMN, WHY DIDN”T I THINK OF THAT AT THE TIME” I am going to start a new series here on my blog. I think I’ll call it “OH DAMN, WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THAT AT THE TIME.” Or something similar. I haven’t worked out all the details yet but I figure that will give me the outlet I need to feel satisfied that my message made it out there to someone, even if it didn’t make it to the original individual who inspired the thoughts. The only thing I will need to do to accomplish this delayed satisfaction is remember to make note of the conversation and my corresponding come back/point/zinger/supporting evidence etc., when it occurs and hold onto it until I can write it down. I anticipate this will be challenging for me since as I began writing this article I had three examples to write about and now I only have two. Honestly. I think I am deteriorating as we speak.

The thought that actually inspired the idea of blogging an answer to a conversation I walked away from at an earlier date was this. Our society has become so money focused that with regards to generating income, we have been programmed over time to “make as much money as possible” rather than “earn a fair wage.”  I would like to talk more about that later in a separate blog but I think it’s a simple enough and powerful enough point on its own because I realized that even though I do not subscribe to the former philosophy, I have been brainwashed to accept it because I have been stopped dead in my tracks by conversations in the past where dipshits argued their point by painting a picture of the lazy liberal hating on the hard working conservative for having good ideas and figuring out a way to make as much money as possible. At first I think, “Dipshit is right. I can’t blame someone for making their ship come in.” But then LATER I realize, I don’t begrudge anyone’s ship coming in! That’s awesome. It’s not the ship coming in that is the problem, though. It’s the WAY it was brought in. The thought process that moved the ship.

“Make as much money as possible.”

“By any means necessary”

“It’s just business, nothing personal.”

“I got mine.”

That train of thought is dangerous. It is sad to me that our financial and professional goals of “earning a fair dollar” and “my ship coming in” have been replaced by “I’mma get mine.”

It’s so dangerous that you probably don’t even know you have succumbed to it. Your knee jerk reaction to my claim that we live in an “Imma get mine” society would likely be met by you with resistance. You’re a part of society afterall so I would be accusing you of that ugly mentality. Right? Well chances are, just like me, you have accepted the same reality. And if you dig deep enough like I did, you will realize that what you have accepted is not what’s in your heart and your guts at all. At least I hope not. That’s where the brainwashing has come in. And on the other hand if you take ownership of it and totally buy into the “Imma get mine” philosophy – shame on you. You need to take a hard look at yourself and see where you fell off track of being a good person.

That scenario is damaging enough on its own because the American consumer is no longer a person. He is a cash cow. Very closely related to the way Americans are devalued and dehumanized in the name of making as much money as possible is the way whoever is in charge of manufacturing today continues to focus on luxury rather than practicality and function as a way to dig deeper and more frequently into our pockets.

But that’s a different post for a different day. For today, I made my plan, vented a delayed thought, and hatched half a dozen more in the process. I need to write them down before I forget.

What about you? Are you a quick thinker, able to form witty responses on the spot? Or do you shut down and drink the Man’s kool-aid?

I hate country music. I really do. But sometimes good things come from where you’re not expecting them. Like when you’re googling a country music artist for your husband and you stumble upon a way to clean years of accumulated junk out of your basement. Let me explain.

Our basement is a big, wide open mess. We started to finish it, and intended to continue, but then the kids came along. Our time for working on it and money for paying for it disappeared. It became a dumping ground for everything that didn’t fit upstairs or that we didn’t know what to do with. We have outgrown our house and whatever we don’t use regularly has spilled over downstairs.

As more stuff began to make its way to the basement, Hubs and I went down there less frequently. The kids noticed this. They began to go down there MORE frequently. We put the Wii down there so they would have room to jump and move about. They sneak food down there and don’t clean up dishes or wrappers or napkins. They took blankets, pillows, stuffed animals, toys. Then they started playing with the overflow junk. They brought down more stuff  to supplement what they were playing with. So not only are they dirtying up their area, they are tampering with my piles of junk, spreading them out, and making it junkier down there. When I would run downstairs to check on them they were so angelic. Smiling and bowling and doing EPIC painting with Mickey and the gang. Because of the way the clutter was stacked, I couldn’t see their mounds of trash piling at their feet unless I got very close. And who wants to do that?

To remain sane Hubs and I have both ignored the basement for the last few years, not realizing that it was getting more and more full, we were getting less selective with what we decided to pitch and what we saved and stored down there. Things we didn’t even want but didn’t know what to do with made their way down there a lot.  We really want to sell and move into something bigger but with the market as it is, we finally just accepted the fact that we’re not going anywhere for a while so it’s time to put some effort into making this house work better for us. I bet lots of people can identify with this situation to some degree. Anyway, we’re planning projects but still ignoring the basement because over the years it has become overwhelming. We’re procrastinating that part.

While procrastinating the other day Hubs says,”what’s the name of that Sugarland song where she’s stalking the guy and acting really goofy?” I neither knew nor cared. But he’s relentless. So I Googled. I found a story about them being sued over a stage collapsing. I had to read it. Then wanted to know more about it so I Googled some more. One result led to another search until I landed on something that had the words Sugar Land Junk Removal in it. I clicked it.

Sugarland Junk Removal is a Texas based business that COMES TO YOUR HOUSE, REMOVES JUNK FROM A SPACE AND TIDIES UP SAID SPACE AFTERWARD!  Guess what else. There are locations all over the country. I guess I knew that there were companies that did this but I hadn’t run into any or anybody who used them before.  I was excited!

As it turns out they do all sorts of junk removal – they will pick up appliances, get rid of carpet, recycle office supplies, even pick up any of that weird stuff that you can’t put out on garbage day because the trash company won’t take it. And they recycle whatever they can to make the smallest impact on landfills as possible.

Even if you don’t have a project for them right now it’s one of those companies to note in your household records to refer to when a need arises, so I thought I’d share. You’re welcome.

I was so happy to accidentally find Personal Creations on Facebook this morning but then I realized – I don’t really have time to order. How is it December 21st already?

I have ordered Christmas presents from Personal Creations many times over the years and I am always so happy with the products. This year I wanted to take a silly picture of the kids and Hobo tearing (pretending) through their 12 Days of Christmas presents and looking at the camera like they got busted. I had the idea over the summer but completely forgot about it until I was on Facebook today and my fingers got sloppy when I was trying to type in BRAND. (Russell Brand)  :)   I had a moment of “OH YEAH! Perfect!” Followed by. “SHOOT it’s too late!”

I have had a couple of moments of holiday cheer. Most notably last weekend walking through Old Canterbury Village with my family. It was all lit up and festive. It felt good. But mostly it just hasn’t felt much different than any other time of the year. I have been blaming it on other people’s scroogeyness, but I think I have to accept half the responsibility myself. There’s nothing really “wrong” right now. I’m just pooped. Summer really kicked my ass. I need to get some vigor back. I’ll work on that later but first I have to concentrate on finishing my last teenie bit of Christmas shopping. It’s December 21st!

Thanks for the guest post by Kristofer Bartlett

Lately my 2-year-old son Jude has been going crazy over television. He wants complete control over what’s on the television all day and night long. When he wakes up in the morning he climbs out of his bed, and the first word out of his mouth is “Elmo.” After a few hours of Sesame Street Jude typically likes to go to Monsters Inc or any of the Shrek movies. When Jamie comes home from work, he’ll try to change the channel from whatever Jude is watching and Jude will cry and ask in a pitiful voice: “Yo Gabba Gabba?” It’s heartbreaking, so we usually give in. With the beginning of football season, Jamie decided it was time to put his foot down and take some control over our little man. We went 3 whole days without television. Jude did not know how to take the first 24 hours, and he spent the majority of it crying on my shoulder. Day 2 he had decided to rebel against us by terrorizing his baby sister (mostly rolling over on top of her and doing his evil laugh). Day 3 Jude had forgotten about the television, but he had climbed into the cabinet on multiple occasions and dumbed boxes of cereal and goldfish all over the carpet. The last time he did it, Jamie turned to me and asked if we could please turn the tv on. What can I say? We love our television: we’re truly a Satellite tv Family.

Hubs and I have been talking about it for awhile, but since losing my Father In Law this summer we’ve been talking more and more about getting a life insurance quote for both of us. I think it is probably common for people, especially parents, to contemplate their affairs whenever they experience losing a loved one and feel a glimpse of their own mortality.

Life is fragile and we spend a lot of time teaching and encouraging ourselves to live each day to the fullest. Enjoy today because you’re not guaranteed a tomorrow. This is true not just from a spiritual/happiness/live-laugh-love angle, but from a financial one as well.Unfortunately, we tend to think that there will be plenty of time to prepare financially for the future in the future. But it’s the same scenario as above – there is no guarantee of tomorrow. So we’ve got to get our ducks in a row today.

Every type of guide for new parents, from nursing to behavior to what to expectations, should include the importance of financial planning. At the very least some life insurance policy to pay for the funeral. The average funeral cost is right around $6,000 and that doesn’t include cemetery or burial expenses. When my Mom passed away suddenly and unexpectedly at 49 my Dad was devastated. And along with the intense sense of loss he was suffering, he had to figure out how to pay for everything. How to send her off with everything she deserved. At this moment you might be able to be practical and say that there is no sense in worrying about elaborate arrangements. I will just say that even the most basic funeral packages are pricey enough to burden an unprepared person. And when the time comes that you have to say goodbye to a loved one, you will most likely have a change of heart with regards to your practicality.

Hubs Dad had a little time to prepare and get his affairs in order. My Mom did not. I hate that I am dwelling on this matter so close to Christmas. I don’t mean to be a downer. But as we’re spending all this money on presents and holiday obligations, and looking forward to the new year, I believe it is something we should all put on our to do list for 2012.

Do you have a plan set in place to take care of your loved ones when they no longer have you to here to help them?

Last year I said that this year, at Christmas time, I was not going to despise myself. I was going to develop a healthier body and disposition so that I could enjoy every aspect of the holidays. Fail.

I don’t get out enough. I miss water cooler talk and discussing what to have for lunch. And as much as I used to despise the whole process of finding something to wear and getting ready in the morning, I miss having a “uniform.”

By “uniform” I mean some type of dress code. In general I hate dress codes. I appreciate some guidelines so that children aren’t distracting others at school and employees represent the company properly. But not actual uniforms. When I was a working girl, my biggest nightmare was having to wear scrubs. When that day came I had to put on a nurses uniform to sell high fashion eyewear – I quit. Retired. Got out of the game. But now I long for a reason to get dressed.

As it is, I wear track or yoga pants on most days. Practical me appreciates that it cuts down on laundry. My kids and husband keep the laundry baskets over flowing so I’m thankful I don’t have business suits and tights to keep up with anymore. But rapidly expanding me is facing the cold hard truth that lycra and waist bands are not practical for managing the waist line. Again, practical me makes the claim every day that the comfy clothes permit me to bounce from typing up assignments to making beds, to working out without having to change. Obsessive worker and Facebook enthusiast me, however, hogs the show and crowds out my inner fitness guru. So there’s not much exercising, just a lot of sitting.

So here it is, reflection time again. And time to dress for holiday functions. And my jeans are tight and I’m as reclusive & socially awkward as ever.

I am stuck here. Thinking. Despising myself. Hmph. Okay – I just decided that this post is not going to contain any solution or wisdom. It’s just a reflection. The planting of a seed. Insight to follow. That is all.

I’ve been having too much fun online lately. “doing what” is for a different post. Today I’m thinking about how I’ve been a little neglectful of sleep because I have been staying up too late laughing at things. And people. And I’m not just talking about smiling at “cute” things. I’m talking about spit my margarita at the screen, non stop giggling, belly laughs. But you know what? Of all the things in the world there are to be had – Fun is what I’m most missing. Smiling, giggles, good times, nonsense – all lacking. So I am going to forgive myself for the week of slacking, call it an asset, and move on back to work. Energy, focus, and creativity are abundant.

You know, even in the most challenging times you will find me laughing. People hardly ever even know I am troubled because I act so care free in order to draw attention away from what ails me. But here’s what’s ailing me now and has prevented the necessary amount of levity from reaching me lately.

I miss my Father In Law. I miss his voice and how his pronunciation of my name sounded like “Sandy” in his southern drawl. I miss him toodling in the garage. I miss his mischievous laugh. He’s been gone for about 4 months now but lately I’ve been seeing him everywhere – Driving down the road, in the store, walking in my neighborhood…this is a common occurrence in the stages of losing someone and missing them, as i understand it.  It’s like our brain conjures them up for us because we want to see them so bad.

I’m worried about my kids. But when it comes right down to it, who isn’t?

I’m worried about my “house.”  After a few months of neglect it is all out of order.

I noticed recently people modifying their Facebook monikers like big business signs to reflect something they like or something they are promoting. I have decided to make mine a source of giggles for myself. A couple weeks ago I changed it to “Cin Coocooforjasonbateman Langston.” There is a story behind it but that doesn’t matter. Only that I think it’s funny when I look at it.  The fact that I check my Facebook first thing in the morning for news and for fun, makes it a perfect place to start my day’s giggles.

“Currently I am Cin Cherryvalance Langston” to represent my make believe spat with Jason Bateman and fictional relationship with Ponyboy Curtis. All nonsense. But spirit lifting all the same.

In my small business of 1, I have no need for high impact business signs or commemorative plaques to market my work. A personalized Facebook I.D. spreads the word for me. And the word is GIGGLES. They’re important in the best and the worst of times. Don’t forget to put yours someplace you can easily find them each day.

Of all the properties of a diet supplement, I have come to see that  suppressing appetite is the most important thing to me.

Prior to now I have been addicted to the energy associated with diet pills. Whether or not I wanted to lose weight, I have wanted extra energy. I have a low metabolism and a naturally laid back pace and I don’t like it. I have lots to do, I like accomplishing lots of things, I need to zoom.

And I just realized I’m sounding a little bit like a drug addict. When I was younger I could access more energy in most cases, through natural ways like working out and such. It wasn’t until my mid twenties that I started using nutrition supplements on a regular basis for energy. Just to clarify

Anyway – so energy was what I was lacking. I never needed appetite control. I was very disciplined and had developed a lifetime of good eating habits. Until now. In the past any fluctuations in weight that I experienced were do to my sedentary life style. If I had a sit down job my butt got bigger. When I was running around helping clients – smaller booty. Makes sense right? But since I hit 40 I have ridiculous sugar and starch cravings. I will eat a pound of noodles in one sitting. If you’re standing nearby with jelly beans or candy corns – you will get jacked. By me. Such is the strength of my craving.

I have eased up on the energy and caffeine consumption and allowed myself to slow down a little bit. I have the most sedentary job ever, and with kids I have more to do than ever, but I needed a balance between gettin er done and smelling the roses. But the cravings I cannot give in to. I might complain from time to time that food grosses me out but I am grateful that I have found something that kills my appetite and is good for me. One less thing to worry about.